Autumn In My Heart
by AiLing
Summary: A story of love, angst and tragedy
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, I had this idea since a few months ago, about writing a story of MerDer based on dramas. This story is based on a popular Korean drama series ' Autumn In My Heart'. Now if you have ever watched the series before, I would appreciate it if you don't spoil anything for those who have not. Those of you who have not, do not go to search the synopsis if you do not want to be spoiled, because the plot of this story will be based loosely on the series.**

Right now, I want to post a prologue to give you a taste of the story, see how you like it before I post the real thing

**Also, just a reminder that this is purely AU, and all the characters belong to Shonda Rhimes, not me!**

So here goes!

**Prologue  
><strong>_**Year 2005**_  
>I feel delicate but strong arms wrap themselves around me. I know who they belong to without even needing to turn around. After all these years, they still feel so familiar. And I breathe in the scent, the scent of lavender which I missed so much after all these years. I finally spin around and come face to face with her.<br>The transformation which took place in her body was incredible, the last time I saw her, she was still a girl, but now she had blossomed into a young beautiful woman. Her dirty blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders in soft, delicate waves. Her mouth, which was lined with lipstick was tender. Her nose was sharper than I remembered. And those piercing green eyes, they looked like ruby, much  
>more beautiful than I recall.<br>She was the one to speak up first.  
>'Derek, I've missed you- so much'.<p>

_**Year 1978**_  
>'Derek, are you excited to see your brand new little sister?' Christopher Sheperd asked the excited 3 year old who was bouncing up and down the hospital corridors.<br>'Yeah!' Derek replied cheerfully. He was overjoyed about the prospect of being a big brother. He would teach his little sister a lot of things, how to climb, how to ride a bike..  
>Father and son soon reached the nursery, where several babies were lying in their bassinets. Some were sleeping peacefully, while others were wailing away.<br>They reached a bassinet holding a little baby wrapped in a pink blanket. She was sleeping peacefully and Derek thought she was the most adorable thing ever. At the side of the bassinet was labelled 'Baby Girl Sheperd, birth weight 2.8 kg'  
>Half an hour later, when they had enough of basking in the cuteness of the baby, father and son walked hand in hand out of the nursery. Just then, Christopher met a good friend right outside the nursery, and pleasantly surprised to see his friend, he began to chat with his friend, subconsciously loosening his grip on Derek's hand. The little boy, not wanting to leave his sister, sneaked back into the nursery to peek at her again. His hand accidentally swiped the label at the side of the bassinet, and it dropped onto the floor. He bent to pick it up and put it back, but he wasn't tall enough to do so. Just then, his other hand accidentally swiped the label from a bassinet beside his sisters, and it dropped onto the floor as well.<p>

'Derek!' Christopher Sheperd had finally realized his son had been missing.  
>'Oh here you are. I was getting a bit worried there... Com'on son, let's go back to mummy now, shall we? Let your sister have a good rest'. he said, lifting the little boy up in his arms.<p>

A moment later, when both father and son have vacated the nursery, a nurse entered the room. Immediately spotting the two labels lying on the floor, she picked them up and placed them back in what she thought were the correct bassinets.  
>Except that she didn't know she had exchanged the labels of the two bassinets.<br>Baby girl Sheperd's bassinet was now labelled 'Baby Girl Grey', and the bassinet next to her was now labelled 'Baby Girl Sheperd'.

A few hours later, the baby originally known as Baby Girl Grey was brought up to the room housing the Sheperd family. They fussed over her, not realizing what had occured back in the nursery.  
>'She's so beautiful' Carolyn smiled looking down at the little girl who was looking up at her intently. 'Oh, Christopher, look at those green eyes, she must have gotten them from her grandfather!' Christopher Sheperd was a little confused, he thought that he saw her having brown eyes, but he couldn't be too sure, because she was sleeping when went to see her just now.<br>'Let's name her Meredith', Carolyn interrupted his thoughts.

Meanwhile, a few rooms away, Ellis Grey was quietly nursing her newborn daughter, unaware that this baby was originally a Sheperd and had been delivered by Carolyn Sheperd just a few hours ago. 'I want to say that you ruined my life.' She began speaking to the baby quietly. 'Your father is a jerk and just left me after I found out I was having you. It's ok, because you and I? We're a team. We're tough, we'll get through this.'  
>The baby opened her big brown eyes to look at her mother. 'Ah well, I see you've inherited your father's eyes. Too bad, but it's ok, it's not your fault.' Ellis laughed.<br>'You know what? I have a name for you. I'll called you Alexandra, Lexie for short.'

**Ok, so this is the beginning of the story. I hope you get what happened in the nursery, because this is integral to the rest of the story.  
>I would really appreciate it if you could leave a comment or review, as I would love to know your take on this, so that I know whether to proceed with this story or not. :)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, as promised, here is the new chapter of this story..**

**10 years later**

**Seattle**

It was approaching dawn in the autumn, and the dusk sky was illuminating a pretty golden colour, matching with the leaves of the trees. The cool autumn breeze was blowing in the air. Children of all ages were out enjoying the weather- cycling around the neighbourhood or playing in the playground.

Two children- a boy and a girl were seen cycling together down one of the neighbourhood streets. The boy looked to be about 13 years old, with dark curly hair. The girl looked to be about 10 years old, with dark blonde wavy hair. They seem to be having a good time in each other's company, based on the smiles on their faces and the giggles being emitted from the girl.

' So yeah- this girl in my class- Lexie- she placed a frog in my locker. Gave me quite a fright early in the morning.' The girl told the boy, giggling. 'I think she is really jealous of me. She always rolls her eyes when she looks at me, and she is always nasty to me. Anyways, Cristina gave her a piece of her mind, and Lexie did not dare go near me for the rest of the day.'

' This Lexie girl seems like she needs a beating from me' the boy replied, winking.

'Oh no, Derek!' the girl replies laughing. 'You'll crush her….she is no comparison for you!'

' I'll do anything for my little sister. You know that, Mer'.

They smile at each other and continue cycling home.

A few minutes later, they pull up the driveway of a huge beautiful bungalow, painted in light crimson colour, with the garden full of blossoming flowers.

'Mom, we're home!' the boy- Derek yelled as soon as they enter the house.

A middle-aged kind-looking woman appeared at the kitchen doorway wearing an apron.

' My dearies are back!' she says giving each of them a big hug. 'How was school today?'

' Other than the fact that Meredith had a frog placed in her locker, the day went fine mom.' Derek answered.

Carolyn Sheperd looked at her daughter, who shrugged it off. 'It was nothing mom.'

Carolyn knew that Meredith had the tendency to downplay things, but she decided to let it go for now.

'Dad will be coming home anytime soon, so if you don't mind- you both can help me set the table, dinner is almost ready.'

As they were setting the table, Meredith decides to take this opportunity..

' Ermmm…..Derek? Can you do me a favor?' Meredith asks with those green pleading eyes that she knows her big brother could never resist.

' Spill it'

She clears her throat….'You see, there is this art assignment we have in class… we have to draw a sketch of a famous person. But as you know I have zero artistic abilities. Whereas you are the most artistic person I've ever known.'

Derek just had to snicker at his sister's compliment. He knows that he meant the world to her, and what she didn't know was that she also meant everything to him.

'So yeah- you don't mind helping me out in the assignment? It carries a lot of marks towards our finals and I can't afford to fall behind in class just because of this one stupid assignment.'

Derek laughed. 'Sure, anything for my little sister.'

Christopher Sheperd came home from work soon after, and dinner was a happy occasion as usual with lots of laughter and fun stories about the day shared among the members of the small happy family.

That night, Carolyn Sheperd was combing away the split in her daughter's hair. They both glanced at the mirror to see their reflections. They certainly didn't resemble each other at all…Carolyn had blue eyes, so did Derek. Christopher had brown eyes. And Meredith had green eyes, which became even greener if possible as she grew up. Until now they couldn't quite figure out who Meredith resembled, as nobody in the family had green eyes.

Meredith could also sense what was going through her mother's mind.

'Mom, how come everyone says that I don't look like you at all? I mean, Derek looks like dad, so shouldn't I look like you? My eyes, even my nose and ears…they're not the same as yours.'

It was true indeed….Meredith had a sharp nose which she always gets complimented on, while her other family members had rather flat noses.

'Honey, it doesn't matter….you know that even if you don't look like me or your father we will still love you very much. You are our daughter after all.'

But Carolyn wasn't prepared at all the next question.

' But what if I am adopted? There is this African-American girl in class, Zola, who was adopted by her parents. And she doesn't look like them at all.'

' Meredith Elizabeth Sheperd!' Carolyn scolded gently. ' I carried you for nine months and I went through 20 hours of labour to give birth to you, so don't you ever dare say that, you hear?'

That line always reassured Meredith, as it did now, and soon the conversation was forgotten as they continued on happily with their mother-daughter bonding session.

* * *

><p>At the other side of Seattle, in a poorer neighbourhood, a girl of about 10 was slowly walking home, her head hung down low dejectedly. She hated going home to her shabby small apartment. She hated going home her mother who would again start ordering her to help out in the small grocery shop she owned. All she wanted to do was to play with the other children her age, but she was always too busy helping out in the shop to do so.<p>

Her dark brown hair was tied up to a neat ponytail and she was dressed in a rather simple shirt and jeans which were rather torn. She couldn't remember when she bought the jeans, she didn't have money to buy a new pair. Despite her attire, one could still see that she was pretty indeed….

Which doesn't always go in her favor, as she earned some whistles when she walked past a group of teenage boys. Fearless, she glared back at them before continuing her walk home. Lexie wasn't afraid of anything anymore. Once when she was 8, she was dragged into the bushes while on her way home by a man wearing a mask, and she put up quite a good fight indeed, kicking him in the right place and running as fast as her little legs could take her, to safety. She was smart for her age, and she has learnt at such a young age that the world is a dangerous place indeed.

She finally stops in front of a small apartment in which was almost in ruins and made her way slowly up the stairs, as the lift was non functioning. All she wanted to do now was to curl into bed and sleep. With luck, her mother would not be at home and she can sneak in a nap.

But no such luck indeed, as soon as she opened the door, her mother was at the door waiting for her, hands on her hips.

'Lexie! How many times have I told you to come back earlier from school? What were you doing? Being lazy and hanging out with the wrong crowd again? What a shame, I thought I taught you better than that.'

The girl just walks past her mother and goes into her bedroom almost slamming the door shut.

'Alexandra Caroline Grey! Didn't I tell you to never slam the door on me! I taught you manners!' came the screaming from the other side of the door. Lexie sits down on the bed, covering her ears. She just didn't feel up to going down to help her mother out in the shop today. She was just so tired, she wanted to rest.

The door soon bangs open, and she finds herself being dragged out. ' Lexie, I'm giving you a last warning…..'. she knows that the can was ready for her, and she just didn't feel like feeling the strike of the stick any longer. So she reluctantly heads off with her mother, all the while wondering how nice it would be if she could be in Meredith Sheperd's shoes for just one day. To be able to wear new shoes and new clothes to school almost every month. To be able to even bring an iphone to class when she herself didn't even have a handphone. To have such a loving family... oh yes, she had seen the Sheperd family in the school open day or concerts or gathering many times, and they seem like such a happy family. She would trade anything to be a member of that Sheperd family.

And she goes to sleep that night dreaming about that same thing.

**This is more of a filler chapter…..gearing up for what is to come….**

**Reviews and comments are very welcome! ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all your reviews and comments! They really mean a lot to me and make writing this story much more enjoyable and worth it **

**Chapter 3**  
>The next day- Meredith and Derek were cycling back home again on the way from school, as usual chattering about their day in school. Derek couldn't help stealing glances at his younger sister as she cycled with this happy contented look in her face, the autumn breeze blowing her dark blonde wavy hair in the air. They had grown up so close together, they practically did everything together and shared all their deepest secrets to each other- the type of secrets they wouldn't even tell their best friend. In fact, Mark, Derek's best friend- has always teased that had Meredith not been Derek's sister, she might as well be his girlfriend. Derek always laughs it off. But truth be told, he absolutely adores his sister and would do anything for her.<br>He finds himself stealing a glance at her butt as she cycles in front of him. He turns away almost immediately, scolding himself for being so inappropriate. She is his own sister for goodness sake!

Oblivious to the fact that her brother had been looking at her, Meredith decided that she was bored and wanted to try something new.  
>' Hey Derek, I've got an idea….why don't we race each other home?' Meredith, who can be quite mischievious for a girl winked at her brother.<p>

Derek didn't really like the idea. They might fall off their bikes or worse still collide with the traffic on the main road. He knew that as the older sibling he needed to exercise his authority.

' Ermm…..I don't think it's a good idea Mer, it's too dangerous….let's just cycle home slowly'

She was too fast for him. Before Derek knew it, Meredith was already out at the main road, cycling together with the busy traffic.  
>'Meredith! Wait for me please!' he yelled out….but she was too far away to hear him…<p>

She continued cycling happily at the side of the main road, smiling to herself. She was so going to beat her brother home this time, hah. When she saw that the road was clear, she decided to just cycle across the road which was so much faster than having to cycle down the long road and wait for the traffic light. Yes, she is so going to laugh in Derek's face when she reaches home before him.

She didn't see the car coming towards her. Until it was too late and her whole world turned black.

* * *

><p>For Derek- the entire thing was like a scene in a movie, all moving in slow motion. First he saw the black Mercedez-Benz moving towards his oblivious sister. He wanted to scream out a warning to her, but his throat went dry. And then before he knew it, the car collided with the girl and her bike, causing the girl to be flung off her bike into the air, flung across the hood of the car and finally landing on the side of the road. She lay there still and motionless, blood gushing out from her forehead, nose and mouth.<p>

By the time Derek reached the accident site, a few curious onlookers and passers by have gathered around the unconscious Meredith.

He knew he was in deep deep trouble, but the only thing running through his mind right that moment was 'please please let her be alive….please God….don't take my sister away from me.'

'There's a pulse!' yelled someone. 'It's there but weak. This girl has to be brought to the hospital, she needs immediate medical attention.

Apparently a kind stranger had dialed 911, because the ambulance arrived not long after. By then, Derek was reduced into tears. He knew that he would get a proper scolding from both of his parents for not looking after his sister well.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, Mr and Mrs Sheperd walked into ICU room where their children were. Meredith was intubated and ventilated, while Derek was sitting on a chair beside her bed, his face buried in his hands in shame. He could sense his parents arrival, but he couldn't gather the courage to look up at them.<p>

It was Carolyn Sheperd who broke the silence by rushing over to her daughter's bedside screaming 'oh my God, oh my God..' tears rolling down her face. It killed her inside to see her beloved daughter like this….being hooked to machines and lifeless. If she should, she would replace her in an instant. Instead, the most she could do was to hold her daughter's hand and pray to God.

Meanwhile, Christopher Sheperd walked to the other side of his daughter's bed and held her other hand. They all sat in silence for some time…  
>Derek finally mustered the courage to speak…<p>

'Mom, Dad…I'm so sorry….it's my fault…..I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me…..she was too far ahead….'

Christopher placed a hand on his son's shoulder. 'It's ok son, we both know that it's not your fault. It was an accident. I'm just glad that she is….' He choked on his words, not wanting to say them out loud. His daughter was his little princess, daddy's girl.

* * *

><p>Later that night….. Derek was left alone in the room with Meredith as their parents went down to the cafeteria for a while to grab a snack. Holding her hand he said<br>' I know that you can hear me now Mer. I have read in a Neurology book that the last sense to go and the first sense to return when you are unconscious is hearing. So I know you can hear me. So…I just want you to know that I love you and so do mom and dad. You have to wake up for us ok? If not we would be devastated. Mum hasn't stopped crying and dad hasn't stopped worrying. And me? You'll always have my back. I will always be with you and will always protect you forever.'

Suddenly he thought he could feel a slight movement in the hand which he was holding. 'Mer?'

Her eyelids fluttered open. 'Promise?' she smiled as she held out her pinky finger.

Derek felt like strangling her…..she had been awake and listening to his entire speech. But instead he shook on their promise.

* * *

><p>In the meantime, Mr. and Mrs. Sheperd were on the way back to their daughter's room, when they were stopped by her attending doctor, Dr. Owen Hunt.<br>'Mr. and Mrs. Sheperd – I need to speak to both of you urgently.'

5 minutes later, they were in Dr. Hunt's office.

Dr. Hunt cleared his throat. 'Your daughter lost a lot of blood earlier on, therefore we have to transfuse two pints of whole blood into her. She is a rare blood group, group AB, and the blood bank has somehow run out of that blood group. Lucky that her blood group enables her to receive blood from all the other blood groups. Therefore we transfused her with some 0 negative blood. We'll be watching her for any signs of transfusion reactions. Just to let you know. They thanked him and walked out of the room.

Carolyn suddenly stopped in midtrack. 'Wait a minute…. Did he just say that her blood group was AB?' Her face suddenly paled. She was a nurse, so she knows some medical stuff. Meredith has been very healthy and therefore never needed to get her blood group tested.

'Yeah honey. Why?'  
>'But how is it possible that her blood group is AB when we both have blood group O?'<p>

It was then that Carolyn sensed that something is not quite right. Could it be possible that Meredith wasn't her daughter? But she remembered very well carrying her for nine months and the long hard labor. How was that even possible? No. It was a lab error, she was sure of that. They have to test Meredith's blood again. She decided to act normal and not scare both children.

But when the second blood test came back similar, she was now at loss of what to do.

'Christopher….' She shook her husband awake that night.  
>'Yes dear'<br>' I….ermm….I think that Meredith might not be our daughter'

Christopher was now wide awake. 'What? What makes you think that?'  
>'Blood groups don't lie…. There's something up, Chris. Maybe she might have been switched at birth with someone else…'<p>

Christopher was now angry, which was very unusual of him. 'She is our daughter Carolyn! You carried her and gave birth to her and we raised her up together! What crazy thing has gone into your mind to make you think of such a thing?'

Carolyn decided to let the matter rest for a while, but it is now bugging her deep inside.

She decided go to the record office the first thing next morning- to trace all the birth records of the babies born in Seattle hospital the day Meredith was born. Luck was on her side when she met with a nurse who had been working in the newborn nursery since over 10 years ago.

'Do you happen to know if there is a possibility that Meredith Sheperd had been switched with another baby that day? I mean, was there any mix up of the labels or something?'

The nurse thought for a long time before suddenly remembering something. 'Oh yes, I picked up her label and the label of another baby from the floor.' Then her face paled at the realization that she might have switched the two babies without realizing it.

'It's ok, just tell me that name of that other baby' says Carolyn kindly to the now shaking nurse.

'Alexandra Grey'.  
><strong><br>So that is the end of this chapter. How did you like it? ****As usual, reviews and comments are very welcome!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When Carolyn walked into the room… her husband and children could immediately sense that there was something wrong. She seemed to be in a daze….a ghost of her true self. She did not go to the side of Meredith's bed like she usually did.

'Mom, what is wrong? Meredith asked worriedly.. She is a very perceptive girl for her age. Carolyn kissed the top of her forehead. 'Nothing dear, I was just worried about you that's all. I'm so glad that you're okay now….' She forced a smile.

Meredith relaxed, knowing that she has the best parents and big brother in the world who loved her more than anything.

Carolyn excused herself out of the room. She just couldn't take it anymore, she can't even bear to see Meredith's face anymore. Not that it's the poor innocent girl's fault. She just couldn't handle the fact that she had been bringing up someone else's daughter all this while- while her own biological daughter whom she gave birth to was somewhere out there, God knows where in the vast universe. Goodness knows what type of family her own daughter might have been brought up in. Was she happy? Rich? Suffering? Did her 'parents' treat her well?

She knew that it wasn't beneficial for her or Meredith to be thinking of her lost daughter, but now the urge to find her biological daughter was stronger than ever.

* * *

><p>She was started out of the thinking by a soft pat on her back. Thinking that it was Christopher she said 'Leave me alone, Chris.. I really need to think…'<p>

'Ermmm….mom….' It was Derek.

She turned to face her son, the fear and worry all written in her face. She just couldn't hide them anymore no matter how hard she tried to in front of her children.

'It's Meredith, isn't it?' Derek was also rather perceptive for his age.

His mother just managed a nod.

'You mean- she isn't my sister?'

Carolyn almost screamed out loud. "How did you know that?'

Derek lowered his head ashamed of what he was about to confess. 'I ermm….overheard'

' Can you please don't tell her anything? At least not yet? I want everything to be like normal at the moment'

'Ok mom'

* * *

><p>To tell the truth, Derek was having mixed emotions about this entire reveal that Meredith actually wasn't his biological sister. On one hand, he felt very sorry for Meredith and what she was about to go through. He knew that his mother would now start looking for his biological sister, and then Meredith would then be casted aside. He had no idea of what would happen to her next. Would she stay in the family or would she go to the family that his sister will be staying? Or will she be chased out of the house? All these were scary thoughts. Over the years they had grown up together and became very close together. It was no secret that he loved her dearly, like his own flesh and blood. He wanted to just protect her from the 'tsunami' that was about to come.<p>

On the other hand, there was one part of him deep inside that was secretly glad that she was not his sister. Because then, that might explain why lately the teenage boy in him had been stealing glances at her more often. It was like there was something that attracted him to her, but he couldn't point out what.

Taking a deep breath, he walked back slowly to his sister's room. He had decided- he was going to tell her. He owned her that. They always shared their secrets.

**This is a short chapter- I was in a rush when I wrote this...Will post the next chapter, which is definitely longer, the next couple of days...Meanwhile, reviews and comments are very welcome!**


	5. Chapter 5

**** Hey guys, sorry for the long pause in updates, I just returned from a meditation retreat yesterday. I was totally cut off from the outside world for one whole week! But now I'm back ****With a brand new chapter for all you readers out there! :)****

**Chapter 5**

Meredith was surprisingly calmer than Derek expected. He had expected a typical Meredith like outburst. This is big life-changing news after all, and Meredith was always considered the drama queen of the family, as she usually had everything she wanted and would throw a tantrum when she didn't get what she wanted during her younger years.

Instead to his surprise she just responded to the news that she was actually not her parent's biological daughter with a 'Oh is it?'

Derek looked at her surprised. He was still holding her hand, meaning to shield her from the harsh reality of this reveal and the drastic changes in her life that may come along with her. But instead she seemed to be taking the news much calmer than she expected.

' I had a feeling' she said suddenly as Derek again looked up at her surprised. 'I had this uneasy feeling for so many years that this will happen one day. It was my greatest fear my whole life, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night having nightmares about it. So this is it right? I had a great 10 years of my life with you all….'

Suddenly without warning she burst into tears and collapsed in Derek's arms.

'Please don't leave me. I'm scared….'

Derek held her tight. " I will never leave you, I promise. You'll always have my back, no matter what.'

This was the reason why Derek had to be the one to tell her. Because Mr and Mrs Sheperd simply wouldn't be able to handle this. Meredith had always been the wild one from the beginning, and only Derek was the one who was eventually able to calm her down every time.

'What am I going to do now?' She looked up at him with big green frightened eyes.

'It's going to be ok. I'm sure mom and dad will still love you like their own. Heck they've raised you like their own for 10 years, I'm sure they wouldn't abandon you just like that!'

But Meredith didn't seem too sure…

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Lexie Grey was living another kind of dream. Here she was in her old apartment, peeping out of her bedroom door, eavesdropping with interest at the conversation her mother was having with a nurse and a hospital officer at their apartment door. She couldn't hear everything, but she could pick up bits and pieces of the conversation such as<p>

'Not your daughter'

' Switched at birth'

'Mr and Mrs Sheperd'

'Meredith Sheperd'

Her smart brain quickly got into action to try to place all this bits and pieces of information together.

Could it be? Could it possibly be? Was her dream really coming true?

She pinched herself hard just to be sure that it was not just a dream. And yelped in pain in response.

Before she had time to digest all this, her bedroom door opened and her mother was looking at her with sad eyes. She knew what was coming, it was like she had been prepared for this day since the day she was born.

' I want to see my parents now'. Was her cold response. Ellis Grey was taken aback by her normally obedient daughter. But there was nothing she could do about it- she owed her that much. The truth was, Lexie was the only person who had sustained her for the past 10 years when she had no one else to turn to. Now she felt like she was losing a piece of her. She didn't always show it as she wasn't that type of person, but she really loved this girl deeply. Not wanting to let her go, she pulled Lexie into a big hug. But didn't get a hug in response. She wished that she had told Lexie that she loved her and not been so strict on her, but it was too late. She can feel the girl slowly slipping away emotionally from her.

* * *

><p>Carolyn had discovered from the school and through Meredith's conversations with her during happier times that her biological daughter was in Meredith's class. Call it a conincidence indeed, or pure fate. What were the chances?<p>

The reunion was an emotional one. The moment Carolyn saw Lexie, she knew that it was her daughter indeed. Lexie had so many similar features to her the nose, the high cheekbones, the hair when she was younger. It was only her eyes that she inherited from her father. Both were at loss of words to say to each other, there was just too much time lost and too much to catch up on. Instead, she Carolyn decided to bring Lexie home to see the house, the house which she was supposed to have stayed in for the past 10 years.

Needless to say, Lexie was in total awe. She surveyed the huge house, her mouth wide open in amazement. There was a bar, a pool table, a karaoke room, huge bedrooms with TV in them, crimson walls with huge family portraits huge on them. All bedrooms had a bathroom attached with a bathtub. This was practically her dream house. She felt like she was living in a dream.

She gathered the courage to ask Carolyn, her biological mother one question…

'Can I stay here tonight?'

Carolyn shrugged. 'Why not?' There is a guestroom in the house.

Lexie's heart leapt with joy.

* * *

><p>Just then, Meredith and Derek entered the house, having gone to run errands with their father.<p>

Meredith's eyes narrowed at the sight of her classmate, the girl who had always bullied her in class and was so obviously jealous of her standing right in front of her in her own house. What was this all about?

Then suddenly it clicked. And she let out a little gasp of shock.

Something clicked in Derek's mind too. He stared at Lexie from head to toe. So this was his long lost sister? As she stared back at him, they both realize how similar to each other they look. But both didn't know what to do or what to say to each other.

Just then, Meredith broke the silence.

'I ermm….I have to go look for someone'

And before anyone could stop her, she grabbed her school bag and was out of the door.

**So yeah, this is the next chapter. Any guesses as to where Meredith is going? ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Meredith trodded slowly along the dirty pavement that lead up to the worn out condominium. She had been there before, once or twice when she had been invited to Lexie's birthday parties. Yes, Lexie could be nice to her sometimes if she was not in one of these jealous streaks. But right now, she was on her way here for a different reason. Not to attend a birthday party. Not even to find Lexie.  
>She was here to find someone else.<br>She looked at the playground where some children wearing dirty clothes were chasing each other happily, barefooted. She saw a group of children using using newspapers rolled up as a ball to kick around. The condition of their lives were so different from her own neighbourhood, but they were still happy nonetheless.

She stopped in front of the worn out condominium before slowly making her way up the moldy smelly stairs. She hasn't even thought of what to say to her...

It took her a lot of courage to finally knock the door. Once, twice, three times, no answer. She was just about to give up and leave, when suddenly the door opened to reveal a tired looking forty something woman with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. They both stared at each other for a moment, but it seemed like eternity. It was like they both connected instantly. They both looked so much like each other, it was hard not to notice.

The woman trembled slightly. 'Meredith?'

'Yes, it's me' came the soft reply.

'It's you. You look so much like me'

' I know...I know...'

Ellis stared again at her daughter, the daugther she had given birth to, and yet only got to know right now. The daughter she had lost for the past 10 years. At least she looked well fed and happy with her pink cheeks, she knew that she was in good hands indeed.

What happened next surprised both of them. Ellis slowly opened up her arms and a near tearful Meredith immediately ran into them. It was an instant and powerful mother daughter bond indeed...

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back in the Sheperd house, Derek was going crazy. He had absolutely no idea where Meredith was. He had been searching high and low, up and down for her. He had been to the playground where they always visited, to the various areas where they always hid from their parents together, to the treehouse, the bushes, the bench where he knew she always liked to sit on when she was upset. But there was no sign of Meredith.<p>

He was getting worried now. The sun was beginning to set, but there was still no sign of her. Usually by this time, the house would be filled with her infectious giggle and laughter, but the house was eerily silent today. Where on earth could she be? Maybe she has been kidnapped by a stranger? He tried to shake that thought off his mind. Maybe she went somewhere to calm down.

As he sat on the bench where they both used to sit on, watching the sun set, he wondered if he should go out of the neighbourhood to look for her.

He jumped in fright when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He had been so absorbed in wondering where Meredith could be that he didn't see his real sister coming up behind him.

'So this is where you both used to sit?' asked Lexie as she took her place next to him. It didn't make Derek feel comfortable as it was Meredith's place. But he didn't object.

' Yeah'.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air. They both have still yet to embrace the fact that they were actually siblings. Right now, they still felt like strangers.

'You both were close to each other?'

'Yeah'

At this point, Lexie knew better than to ask Derek any further questions.

Suddenly, she thought of something which she knew would make Derek respond.

'I think I know where Meredith is'.

Sure enough, Derek finally turned to look at her.

' Where?'

' My place'.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Carolyn was finally starting to become worried as well. Her husband was due home any minute and yet her daughter was not home yet. Where could she be?<p>

She contemplated calling the police- but then decided to give it another half an hour before making the phone call.

Just then, the front door opened and she rushed to open it. It was her husband.

'What is wrong?' he asked when he saw the look on her face.

'She is gone'

'What?'

'Meredith- I don't know where she went...'

'What? I'm calling the police now...' Christopher marched right to the phone...

Just then, the door opened, and a tired but contented looking Meredith walked into the living room.

'Meredith! Where have you been!'

The girl bowed her head down...' To look for my real mother'

Carolyn and Christopher looked at each other. They knew this was coming, and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

* * *

><p>That night, as Meredith was pouring herself some milk, Lexie entered the kitchen.<p>

Meredith continued ignoring her, pretending she had not seen her.

She cleared her throat as soon as she was standing beside her. 'I belong here' she said when she still wasn't getting any response.

'What?'

'This is my family. There are my parents and my brother. This is supposed to be my house.'

Meredith felt her blood beginning to boil, but it was rather late at night and she didn't want to disturb the others.

'Then stay! Did anyone say that you can't stay?'

Exactly that' the point. I'm staying'. Then Lexie left the kitchen, leaving Meredith alone in the kitchen again, now rolling her eyes.

* * *

><p>The next few days were a mixture of blur and confusion for the whole Sheperd family. Derek and Christopher were still trying to adapt to the fact that Lexie was their daughtersister, and were still trying to come into terms with the fact that she was considered part of their family. Carolyn on the other hand, had already accepted her as her own daughter with ease.

Lexie meanwhile was relishing in all the luxury of her new life and the attention that she was getting from her mother.

Meredith, on the other hand, well, she hated to admit it, but she was starting to feel a little jealous of her. She used to be her Carolyn's little princess, and they used to do all this girly things and had many mother-daughter bonding sessions together. She remembered going for their weekly shopping trips and occasional manicure sessions together. But now, it seemed like Lexie is slowly but surely taking over that role. She just didn't know where she belonged anymore.

Although Derek had tried to convince her otherwise. After school , he still preferred to hang around with her, while Lexie would go off running errands with their mother. Carolyn and Lexie had initially tried to invite Meredith to go with them, but she had always declined, coming up with some sort of excuse. She just didn't feel up to hanging out with them anymore. Instead, she was spending more and more time alone with Derek. But they were not doing the things they used to do anymore. Instead, the evenings would find them both sitting on their favourite bench or walking along in the neighbourhood park, discusiing serious stuff like adults do.

'I do feel like Lexie is somehow taking over my place.' Meredith finally confided one of the days as they were sitting on the bench.

'Yeah, I feel that too' Derek sighed. ' I mean, I know it's she is entitled to, she is my sister after all...' 'But I don't know, I just don't feel like sibling connection yet you know?'

'Maybe it's because you never grew up with her. So you never got to know her until now'

'Yeah'

They both stared in silence at the setting sun. So much in their lives had changed in such a short period of time. They both wished they could go back to the good old days when they were both children and playing carefreely and happily in the playground.

'So how is Ellis?' Derek broke in silence.

' She's fine...I go and visit her daily after school. I think she is lonely. She keeps on asking about Lexie, and I tell her that she is doing fine and is happy here. She may seem strict, but I do think that she is a caring woman. And I find that I have so many characteristics in common with her'.

' She doesn't have a husband?'

'Nope' Merdith nodded sadly.

They both sat in silence again, wondering where would they go now from here.

* * *

><p>That night, Meredith coudn't sleep. She kept on tossing and turning around in her bed. The many thoughts in her mind kept returning to torment her. Finally she couldn't take it anymore and slowly opened her eyes to look at the alarm clock beside her bed. It showed 2am. Suddenly she knew what she had to do. Why hadn't she thought of it before? It seemed like the only feasible option at this point.<p>

She took out her luggage and hastily began to throw all the clothes that she could fit into the luggage. When they couldn't fit into the luggage anymore, she started to throw them and some toiletries into an overnight bag. And left several clothes in her wadrobe. She thinks that they fit Lexie perfectly they're about the same size after all.

Theyn she wrote several notes...

_' Mom and Dad'_

Thank you so much for lookking after me these past 10 years and giving me the best childhood a girl could possibly ask for. For this, I am forever grateful. I will always remember both of you as my parents, and you both will always have a place in my heart. Dad, I will always be your little princess. Mom, I with always be your little sweetheart. But now, I'm afraid I have to leave. It's for the better. I love you both with all my heart.

Love, Meredith.

Derek,

You mean the world to me. You are the big brother I always look up to, the big brother who taught me how to ride the bike and climb trees, the brother who protected me from the school bullies. You're the person I always confided it, my playmate, my companion. You'll always have a special place in my heart, Derek. Even if destiny decides to bring both of us apart, you'll always have my back, no matter what. I love you...so much.

Meredith.

Lexie,

I'm sorry. Sorry that I took away all the joy and blessings that you were supposed to receive these past 10 years. Sorry you had to live in such misearable conditions these past 10 years. But I'm happy for you that your life has now changed for the better. Enjoy and treasure the Sheperd family, they are good people indeed. Make them happy, bring them joy into their lives like I did. Accompany mom to her weekly shopping sessions, she needs a companion. And console Derek when he is down, he needs someone to talk to. And in turn, I will keep your mom company.

Meredith.

She went back to sleep contented. Very early the next morning, before anyone else was awake, she slowly crept down the stairs with her huge luggage, careful not to wake anyone up. She looked around the huge house that had been her home for the last 10 years and bid it a silent farewell. Then she walked out the giant wooden front door and closed it behind her for one last time.

**Reviews and comments? Pretty please? **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The following morning, chaos ensued in the Sheperd house. Everyone woke up to a note on their respective dressing tables in their bedroom. Everyone immediately began calling out for Meredith, but no sign of her around the huge house or the huge compound. Knocking on neighbour's doors, no one saw her leaving. Her wadrobe was near empty except for the few clothes left, with a note left that said they were for Lexie. Her precious collectibles, all gone. She had packed them with her too. Almost no trace of Meredith left in the house.

Now, Carolyn was hysterical.

'Christopher- she is gone! She left' Carolyn was sobbing. ' And it's all my fault. I have been spending so much time with Lexie that I unknowingly pushed her aside. It's all my fault!'

Christopher tried to calm his near frantic wife down, although he was deeply upset too. ' She is Meredith, she's strong, she'll be fine, I know...' he said more to himself.

Carolyn stared at her husband incredulously.

Just then, Derek and Lexie entered their parents bedroom.

' We know where she went.'

'To Ellis Grey's place.'

* * *

><p>Half an hour later saw the entire Sheperd family at Ellis's Grey's apartment. Meredith was sitting next to Ellis, her head bowed down, not wanting to make eye contact with any member of the Sheperd family, not even Derek who she knew was desperately trying to make eye contact with her. At the same time, Lexie was also refusing to make any eye contact with Ellis. It was a very awkward situation indeed.<p>

Carolyn finally broke the silence. ' Mer- do you want to come home? Or do you want to stay? You're always welcome back with us.'

Meredith contemplated for a while. Even if she went back, she knew that things would never be the same again. Lexie had somehow already taken her place as the little princess of the family. She just didn't know where she fit in anymore, unfortunately. On the other hand, she knew that Ellis needed her, poor lonely woman.

'I'll stay' she said softly.

'What?'

'I'll stay' she said, more firmly this time. 'Ellis needs me here'.

Carolyn and Christopher Sheperd were devastated, and it showed in their eyes. Derek was totally broken and it showed too. Lexie, meanwhile, seemed noncholant.

'Well, okay then, it this is really what you want' Carolyn said, her voice trembling. She gave Mer a quick hug and whispered to Ellis ' Take good care of her' before walking out the door. Christopher followed , but not before giving Mer a big hug. 'You'll always be my little princess, you know that'.  
>Derek also had one last word to say 'I'll see you'.<br>Lexie just gave Mer a brief smile.

'Wait!' Ellis called out. They all turned back.

'Take good care of her too'. Carolyn nodded in understanding.

What the Sheperd family didnt' see was Meredith peering out from her bedroom window and looking down at them with tears in her eyes.

* * *

><p>'Mer, you can come home, you know' Derek said, as they were walking along the park together. They still made it a point to meet up with each other every evening and take long walks together.<p>

'Your room is still empty and everyone misses you' he continued earnestly when Meredith didn't reply.

'Including Lexie' came the skeptical reply.

Derek had to laugh at that. Mer had a dry sense of humor. 'Yes, including her. Last night, she was tellinlg me that she wishes you didn' have to leave.'

Meredith almost scoffed out loud at that. Seriously?

'I would love too- but I have to stay with Ellis. She needs me. She is all alone, she needs company, she needs someone to help her up in her grocery shop.'

' You're too kind, Mer'

'Well, she is my mother after all.'

Derek couldn't argue with that.

'Well, at least we can still see each other everyday'. They smiled at each other.

Meanwhile, Lexie was also treating Meredith much nicer in school, and starting talking to her like a friend. Meredith didn't know what to make of it, but she was polite in return towards her.

At home, Meredith was trying to establish her own routine. She was still trying to get used to her new living conditions. The run down apartment she was living in now was a far cry from the beautiful bungalow she used to stay in. The bathroom was so run down, a far cry from her beautiful private pink bathroom with the bathtub. And if before she would spend her afternoons cycling around the neighbourhood with Derek and the other neighbourhood children, nowadays her afternoons were spent helping out Ellis in the grocery shop. Which she didn't really mind, but at times she found herself wishing that she could go out to play like the other children. And more than once, she found herself dreaming of her old home and the Sheperd family. She found herself dreaming of the good old days when they were a big happy family, with just mom, dad and Derek.

* * *

><p>This went on for a few months.<p>

One day, as Derek and Meredith were taking their daily strolls at the park, Meredith noticed that Derek was being more silent than usual. He was usually quite chatty and cheerful, but today he looked dull and solemn. She knew him well enough.

'Derek, are you ok?' She asked, concerned.

'Huh? yeah, I'm fine.' he smiled back at her.

She stopped in her tracks to face him. She knew him well enough.

' I know you're not fine. Tell me what is going on in that mind of yours.'

Derek sighed. He looked like their was a huge weight on his shoulders.

' We are leaving.' he finally said as he exhaled deeply.

' You're what?'

' Mom, Dad, Lexie and I. We are moving to New York, because dad got a promotion in his job'.

Meredith took at moment to digest this.

' That's good right? I mean that's good that dad got a promotion. I'm so happy for him!'

Derek didn't buy into this. Meredith was an expert in denial.

' Mer, listen. We will be moving away from this city- far away. Which means we can't see each other like this anymore. Get it?'

Meredith suddenly felt tears sting her eyes.

'Do you really have to leave?'

' I don't want to- but this is a really good opportunity for dad. He had to take this..'  
>he said sadly.<p>

'When are you leaving?'

' In a weeks' time'.

They both walked in silence, both contemplating the weight of this change on their lives. They could always write letters to each other, but it would not be the same as seeing each other dailly.

* * *

><p>That night found Meredith crying softly on her bed. She didn't know what to do. Before this, she still had the comfort that she still could see Derek and the Sheperd family often. But now, things were really going to change forever. They would be leaving this place, and she might never see them again. And that thought really scared her.<p>

'Mer?' Ellis was standing at the doorway.

Meredith looked up at her with her teary face.

'They're leaving, ma'

'Who?'

'The Sheperds. They're leaving this city for good.'

Ellis sat on the edge of her daughters bed.

' You still miss them, don't you?'

Meredith remained silent.

'Com'on. It's ok- just admit it.' Ellis has surprisingly became a much more gentle person ever since this incident that had changed all their lives.

' Yes, I do' the girl conceded finally.

' Listen Meredith, it's totally up to you. I mean you're 10- you're a big girl now. I wouldn't stop you from following them if you wish to. Although of course I've to admit that I do want you to stay.'

' But I don't want to leave you' Meredith said sadly.

Ellis felt her heart really go out to her daughter at that moment. It was such a tough decision for her to make.

* * *

><p>Meredith and Derek spent the next few days exploring the entire city of Seattle together. It was like they were trying to make full use of their last week together. And Derek knew he was going to miss this city he grew up in, and also Meredith.<br>Meredith also knew she was going to miss Derek immensely, but she put that thought at the back of her mind.

'We can always keep in touch through letters' Meredith said. ' I'll buy lots of envelopes and pens and empty papers. And we'll write as much as possible to each other'.

Derek laughed. She still can be such a child at times, although he had noticed how much she had grown recently. ' Absolutely.'

'Pinky promise?' Meredith stuck her little finger out for him to take.

'Pinky promise.'

The dreaded day came. The day the Sheperds were to move to New York city, the city full of promises and opportunity. All their luggage and boxes have been packed into the family van. Now it was time for them to leave to the airport. But Derek was still reluctant to leave. He took one last glance at the house he grew up in. This place held a lot of memories. Mermories of his happy childhood, with Meredith. Speaking of Meredith, where was she? He had told her specifically to come here to meet him at 1 pm, to say their good byes. ' Now, it was 15 minutes past one, no sign of her.

'Derek, we have to go now. Our flight is in one hour.'

' I'm waiting for Mereditih.'

Silence followed. The name has always haunted this family now. The truth was, they all still missed her tremendously, although neither of them wanted to admit it.

1:30 came and still no sign of her.

Christopher looked at his watch. ' Our flight is in less than an hours time.. I do not want to miss the flight.'

'Dad, you don't want to see her?' Derek asked, hurt.

'Son, I do miss her, but we are running very late now. We can always keep in touch with her through letters.'

Deeply disappointed, Derek got into the van. And they pulled out the driveway.

A few minutes later, Meredith appeared, panting. She had been held up in her mom's shop, and she was only released half an hour earlier. She had ran with all her might to the Sheperds. And stopped in her tracks when she saw that they were really gone. The van was no longer in the driveway.

Suddenly she saw the van going down the street. She chased after all, running as fast as her slim legs could carry her. The van moved faster and faster and she ran faster and faster.

Until it was totally out of sight. She finally stopped, worn out, defeated, exhausted and sweaty. And stood in the middle of the street, tears rolling down her eyes, staring after the vanishing van.

**So, this is the end of this chapter! Hope you like it ****Actually most of what happened in the past few chapters, are all mine, although the basic storyline was the same. The girl did leave the house, although I can't recall if the rich family actually missed her or not. And the Sheperds moving were what happened in the show, although they moved to America from Korea- so far away! And the scene where she chased after the family car- that was so sad! Also, remember that letters were the only way to communicate with someone living far away in the 80s.**

The next chapter will be a huge leap in time to the present. Just something I thought you would like to know

**I dont' know when I can get the next update done, as I would be going to Europe tomorrow, for a week.**

Anyways, do read and review!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 9**

**This next chapter begins with the flashforward I had mentioned…**

**2005**

It was just another typical day in the Seattle Grace Hospital- with emergencies pouring in non- stop, including a young man who had his leg amputated on the site after his car skidded and overturned by itself on the slippery post-storm road, causing him to be stuck in his vehicle. He was evacuated from his car an hour later. Not long after, there was local college shootout which resulted in 5 teenagers having gunshot wounds. Luckily, there were no casualties as of yet.  
>Meredith Grey was busy tending to one of the gunshot wound patients who had a bullet pierce right through her abdomen. They found an exit wound on the back of her abdomen- it seemed like the bullet had gone right through her and miraculously done minimal damage to her. There was only minimal internal bleeding and no torn or perforated internal organs, so only minor surgery was being performed, and now the patient was recovering well, to Meredith's delight.<p>

' I can still see his face whenever I close my eyes', the 18 year old girl, Sarah, confided, as Meredith checked her vitals for the umpteenth time that day. 'The look in his face when he pointed the gun at me and told me that I was meant to die. And the surge of pain when the bullet pierced right through me'. Meredith was about to conjure a reply about how she knew that it must have been an extremely traumatic experience indeed…when a young looking man wearing a tight bandage on his upper right arm came barging into the room.

'Sarah! Omg, you're here too- you're safe- you're safe baby'  
>' Peter!' She exclaimed, tears rolling down her cheeks. I'm so glad you're ok..'<br>As they hugged each other tight, Meredith decided that this was the point when she left them both alone for privacy.

She slowly left the room and ambled down the hospital corridors aimlessly. She knew that she still had many more post-op patients to review, but she just didn't see the whole point in hurrying anymore. They were all stable- the last time she reviewed. Now, she just felt tired and- empty inside. She couldn't point out what caused the emptiness inside her. It was just a void in her heart that needed to be filled. In fact, she had this feeling ever since the Sheperd's left Seattle for good.

She found herself thinking of Derek day and night even when she reprimanded herself for doing so. He seemed to be moving on with his life in his letters – good for him. But why can't she do the same? Why can't she move on?  
>After Derek and his family left- Meredith found herself indulging in her school work. She studied as hard as possible- joined in as many extra-curricular activities and helped out her mom in the shop as much as possible. If only to fill the void that Derek had left in her heart. It was only after he left that she began to realize that the feelings she had for him were starting to become more than just sisterly affection. Which was scary indeed, but she couldn't help it. They both had somehow lost contact with each other somewhere along the line and she could only assume that he had really gone on with his life.<p>

As a result of studying very hard- she managed to get a college degree and gain entrance into one of the world's most reputable medical schools- Harvard. Although she partied as hard as she could there and tried to make as many friends as possible, she still scored top grades in class. Which made Ellis very proud indeed. And now, she had a stable and reputable job as a surgical intern in Seattle Grace Hospital. She had everything a woman would want- a great career, good looks, a great relationship with her mother- but something seriously lacked…she had yet to be in a relationship.

Sure, she had been on several random dates in college and in medical school- but none had ever lasted for more than just a few drinks or meals together. She just- couldn't find a guy that she was really interested in, a guy that was compatible with her.

She got teased about it a lot. Her best girl friend from back in school until now- Cristina Yang, was the most relentless about the mocking.

' Mer- you really should get laid you know' she would say. 'Com'on let's go to the local bar to find you one'. And Meredith would just smile back politely.

And right now, Cristina was also a colleague working in the same hospital. And she happened to be walking right alongside Meredith in the hospital corridor now.

' Mer, you look like you are a thousand of miles away. Are you ok?'

' Yeah, I'm fine- it's just- one of those days you know? When you feel like everything just goes by in a daze around you and you wonder what on earth are you doing in this world'

Cristina let out a chuckle. 'Oh- I've been there several times too, trust me.

Then she eyed Meredith curiously…..' Is there some guy in your mind?'

Mer scoffed playfully. 'Of course not! What makes you think so?'

' Just joking…. You really need to get laid, Mer'

It was then that she spotted him. He initially had his back to her, standing at the nurses counter chatting to one of the residents, Mark Sloan.

She had to walk closer to get a better look.

He looked totally different from when she had last seen him. He had fully grown into a man. There was the beard and a little bit of moustache, the broad shoulders, …the hair! His dark brown hair which used to be afro-like whenever he woke up in the mornings was now combed neatly. He looked so handsome, she thought…

'Hello….earth to Mer!' Cristina was saying something, but Meredith wasn't listening anymore. Instead, she was totally focused on the man standing in front of her.

She wondered if he even remembered her anymore. What on earth was he doing here, standing right in front of her?

_

**Derek's POV**

I feel delicate but strong arms wrap themselves around me. I know who they belong to without even needing to turn around. After all these years, they still feel so familiar. And I breathe in the scent, the scent of lavender which I missed so much after all these years. I finally spin around and come face to face with her.

The transformation which took place in her body was incredible, the last time I saw her, she was still a girl, but now she had blossomed into a young beautiful woman. Her dirty blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders in soft, delicate waves. Her mouth, which was lined with lipstick was tender. Her nose was sharper than I remembered. And those piercing green eyes, they looked like ruby, much  
>more beautiful than I recall.<p>

She was the one to speak up first.

'Derek, I've missed you- so much'.

The voice- how much I've missed the voice! Of course, it had become softer, more gentle and more sexy if possible after all this years.

By now, everyone around us, from the nurses in the counter, to the hospital staff and patients passing by us were staring at us. Mark Sloan, my best friend from high school was also staring, smiling and chuckling in amusement. An Asian lady who really looked like Cristina Yang, Meredith's best friend from the childhood years (she used to come by to the house for sleepovers during our younger years) was glaring at us in bemusement.

But I don't care. And Meredith doesn't seem to mind as well. Right now, we were both locked in the present, in a whole of our own, only the both of us. No one else around mattered anymore.

I stared into her beautiful green eyes which seemed to be sparkling more than it usually did.

'Mer' I finally whisper her name. It was so so good to see her after all this wihle, it was like in a dream.

'Derek' she whispered back.

I wish I could tell her how I used to lie in bed thinking about her all night. And how I stopped writing the letters to her, because missing her seemed to painful and I really had to move on, or else I would be a ghost of myself. How every single thing reminded me of her. Even looking at my sister also reminded me of her, even if they couldn't be more different in personality and appearance.

I wish I can tell her how I really miss all the wonderful childhood memories we had together, the happy times we spent in each other's company. How she really made me live and always never failed to cheer me up when I was down. How can I tell her that slowly when I became a teenager and then an adult, I finally realized that my feelings for her were more then just brotherly affection?

As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I divulged myself into school work, extracurricular activities and hanging out with friends to stop myself from thinking about her. Even had one-night stands with several girls- but it just didn't feel the same. One girl even told me that I called out 'Meredith' in the middle of my orgasm, before she walked away for good.

I finally gave up sleeping around and decided to concentrate fully on my studies- and that was what got me into a great medical school in the UK- Cambridge. Only the top of the crop went there. I found myself struggling at first- but I manage to pull through medical school.

After serving housemanship over there (they call interns housemen there) I suddenly made the decision to come back to serve my own country. Until now, I can't really point out what made me come back here to Seattle, but I applied.

Maybe, just maybe, I still held on to the glimmer of hope that by applying back here, I could see her again someday. We lost touch, so I don't have her phone number or her email address and I almost thought that I would never see her again.

Until now. There she is, standing right in front of me. I restrain from pinching myself just to see if this is real, or just a dream, an illusion. But nope, there Meredith is , standing right in front of me in person, dressed in her light blue intern scrubs with a white coat over it. Even in this hospital attire, she still looks so beautiful.

'Meredith, I've missed you too- so much' was all I could muster, after all the thoughts and memories that went through my mind.

But it doesn't matter now, we have all the time in the world to catch up with each other.

**There you go ** **I hope you liked their reunion!**

**p.s. In the series, they were definitely not working as surgical interns. But oh well, I improvised the story to fit the characters...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

' You owe me a dozen of explanations' says Cristina as she fell on a stride alongside Meredith in the corridor.

'uh?' says Meredith absentmindedly. Her mind was still on Derek although their meeting had ended an hour ago. (With the promise to meet up again for dinner later that day).

Cristina was now glaring at her best friend, who obviously seemed miles away.

She stopped in front of Meredith and waved her hand dramatically right in front of her face. Meredith rolled her eyes. That was Cristina, and after so many years of friendship, she got immune to it.

' You are still thinking about Derek aren't you?'

Meredith could only conjure a nod.

'Well, I miss him. I think of him all the while we were apart….I mean we grew up together, we used to be so close together before we were separated…. He was the best big brother to me..'

Cristina was quiet for a while, before she suddenly piped up…

' Yea Mer- you still regard him as your elder brother. But what I saw at the nurses counter just now…..I don't know- it seemed to me a little more than just a sibling relationship... ermmm it's just my humble opinion, no offense..'

Meredith let out a little chuckle. Cristina can be blunt and straightforward like that…

Cristina's eyes suddenly widened…

'Omg- you love him don't you? You're in love with him! I knew it! I knew that this was just more than just brother-sisterly love…'

Meredith quickly shushed her and dragged her into the nearest on call room when she spotted nurses staring at them and whispering to each other.

'Could you tone down your volume a bit- there are others out there! You know- the gossiping nurses'

But Cristina was too excited now to even care .

' You love him, don't you? In a romantic boy-likes-girl kind of way'

By now, Meredith's patience was starting to wear thin. She thought she had developing much more patience over time- but now her best friend was testing her.

'Cristina- I just miss him – that's all. I mean, I grew up together with him for 10 years- 10 years Cristina- before fate separated us. 10 years full of happy childhood memories, 10 years which I can't just simply forget like that in the blink of an eye. So yes, I miss him, like a little sister who hasn't seen her brother for 15 years would. Now if you would excuse me…I have a patient to check on'. With that, she stormed out of the oncall room, leaving a shocked Cristina standing alone in the on call room.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the other side of the surgical wing- surgical residents Derek Sheperd and Mark Sloan were having a conversation of their own.<p>

' So that was Meredith- the girl you have been telling me about all this while?' asked Mark as they both tried to scrutinize a chest XRay of a patient whom they suspected had either TB or lung cancer. 'The girl who grew up as your sister for 10 years? Before she went back to her biological mother?'

'Yes' Derek answered, eyes still focused on the XRay. But in actual fact, all he could decipher from the XRay was perihilar haziness. His mind was far away.

'She seemed estatic to see you'

'Yes, it was obvious from her reaction' Derek answered monotonously.

Mark looked at Derek, surprised by his nonchalant reaction. Just an hour ago, Derek seemed to be- well estatic was an understatement to see Meredith again.

' Well, I just thought that you would sound happier- I mean, what were the chances of you both meeting each other again?' said Mark- now also staring blankly at the XRay.

' I am happy to see her again' came the gruff reply. ' I haven't seen her for such a long time'

Mark finally gave up, deciding not to probe Derek any further. They had been best friends for so many years, he knew Derek well.

But somehow, he just couldn't resist adding in a sentence..

'She's hot, you know'

Derek couldn't agree more. The last time he saw her, she was still a girl. But it seemed like she had blossomed into a beautiful woman overnight. He had always thought that she was pretty, but never gave much thought to it as they were growing up. But now, he just couldn't help thinking about every single feature of hers- the eyes, the nose, the lips, the body shape- slim with curves in the right place- the wavy dark blonde hair…. He tried to shake those thoughts off-

Mark, luckily, was oblivious to his thoughts as he added…

' As hot as your sister'

Derek rolled his eyes. He knew that Mark had a crush on Lexie, who also had blossomed into a beautiful young woman. But somehow he just didn't like Mark going anywhere near Lexie. He just- didn't want her hurt. Over the years- he had become rather protective of her- maybe a subconscious effort to fill the gap that Meredith had left in his heart. One time- he and Mark almost ended their friendship when Mark decided to excort Lexie to prom. It was Lexie who had to convince her elder brother that- really Mark didn't mean any harm- he was his best friend after all- didn't he know Mark well enough to trust him?

' I really think it's lung cancer'- says Derek, abruptly changing the subject. ' Let's just order sputum and lung biopsy and perform a CT scan of the chest. Then we'll know for sure…'

'Agreed…'

* * *

><p>That night, which just couldn't come fast enough for both Meredith and Derek- found them both in a fancy local restaurant. There was a candle lit in the middle of the table and romantic music playing in the background.<p>

Derek just couldn't stop stealing glances at Meredith. She looked absolutely gorgeous, dressed in a simple but elegant knee length black dress, a v shaped neckline, some shiny diamonds on the top portion and a scarf to go with it. She had applied some lipstick and eyeliner and her hair was put down in wavy cascades.

Meredith in turn couldn't stop looking at Derek. He looked more handsome than ever- in his dark suit, with his hair looking more smooth than usual. She could bet that he used plenty of hair products.

After they had ordered their meal- it was time to chat and catch up on the lost years.

' How's mom?' Meredith asked suddenly.

For a moment, Derek was confused….which is she asking him about her mom? Before realizing that she meant HIS mom. It touched his heart to know that she still referred to her as mom.

_Meredith, the actual truth is that she has been missing you a lot…from the moment we left to New York until yesterday when I spoke on the phone to her, she has been mentioning your name. She would always say ' I wonder how Meredith is. I wonder what she is doing right now. I wonder if she is happy. I wonder where she is now.' And she would just sit at the kitchen window for hours at a time- staring outside at nothing in particular- I think she thinks she can see you outside. It became so serious until she fell very ill recently- a had a hypoglycaemic attack due to skipping lunch after taking a dose of her oral hypoglycaemic agents. She has grown so cachexic due to loss of weight and loss of appetite. I'm very worried about her. Both me and Lexie can't cheer her up, no matter how hard we try. I think she is starting to have major depression – she is showing all these signs and symptoms already- loss of appetite, lack of sleep, lack of concentration, lack of interest in daily activities.._

'She's doing fine', he tried to fake a smile. Busy with housework and catching up with neighbours and old friends…she retired quite a while ago and is just enjoying life..'

Meredith smiled. Derek thought it was such a beautiful smile.

'And how about Dad?'

_Well, the truth is- mum's depression has taken it's toll on Dad as well. He has resorted to binge drinking- which has resulted in alcohol dependence. He was diagnosed with chronic liver disease a year ago- when the doctor noticed that he was becoming jaundiced and had a distended abdomen. He even has all the hallmarks of chronic liver disease- from flapping tremor, to Dupuyutren's contracture, to spider naevi, to caput medusa, to ascites. And to top it off- he had a few episodes of haemetemesis already- as a result of Esophageal Varices. He has also become more and more withdrawn from us- not like his usual self._

'He's fine' he answered. ' He had another promotion and his company is doing well'

Meredith seemed pleased with the answer.

They spent the entire night- first over dinner and then over at Derek's- chatting and catching up with what each other had been doing for the past 15 years. They both found that they had no stable relationships at the moment, that both excelled in high school, college and medical school…..and that medical career was totally their own choice. And they both also reminisced over their good old childhood years- and how they enjoyed each others company then. Neither wanted to admit that they really enjoyed each other's company now too.

Towards the end of the night- Meredith finally decided it was time for her to leave. She had an early shift the next day and didn't want to be late.

Before he could stop himself- Derek leaned in to give her a kiss.

Meredith was about to return the kiss- but suddenly pulled away from him abruptly.

Seeing Derek's shocked and confused expression, Meredith said ' I can't Derek- I just- can't- not now….. I really don't know- I'm confused too- weren't we siblings and good friends? Aren't we supposed to remain that way?'

Before Derek could answer- she was out of the door. He stared at the closed door for a long time after she left- wondering what this meant for the both of them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The next day- Meredith had been trying her hardest to avoid Derek at all costs. She busied herself with work- burying herself in checking on patients and their charts for the entire day. She even managed to scrub in to a few cool surgeries back to back. Fortunately for her, none of them were with Derek. She just couldn't bear to look at him right now.

Meanwhile, Derek was feeling rather distracted. He just couldn't focus on his work at all. He was supposed to be the best resident in the country- but so far today he had already made a few mistakes in the management of patients. He had ordered a CT brain for a patient who needed a CT abdomen. He had sent a patient with a ruptured fallopian tube into the general surgical ward instead of the O&G ward. This wasn't him at all. Usually he was very efficient in his job.

Suddenly at the corner of his eye- he spied his distraction- walking down the same flight of stairs he was about to use to walk up.

'Finally' he thought to himself.

She scurried past him, pretending not to notice him.

'Meredith!' he called out. She pretended not to hear him.

' Meredith!' he called out again.

She finally stopped and glared at him.

'What?' she asked a little annoyed.

'Wait' he said- running up to her.

' About last night…'

' I don't want to talk about last night' she cut him off abruptly.

Derek was a little taken aback. He hadn't expected her to be so cold towards him. It was just a harmless kiss after all. Nothing wrong with that- or so he thought.

' Mer- about last night….it was just a kiss…that's all… Don't take it the wrong way ok? I…to tell the truth, I've missed you a lot. I…think about you everyday…every single thing reminded me of you…I stopped writing these letters because I just….couldn't bear missing you terribly..'

Meredith's answer surprised him. 'I've missed you too- so much. I really meant it- when I said it yesterday….. I couldn't stop thinking about you too….It's just….'

'Just what?'

' Don't you think it's wrong? Morally and ethically wrong? We grew up as siblings and best friends….we are supposed to remain that way…..I just….you were my big brother…my elder brother Derek.. Which girl in her right frame of mind would have romantic feelings for your big brother?'

'But we're not biolo….'

'I know we're not biologically related.. But I still consider you my big brother and best friend' Mer said with a shaky voice.

' Ok then….' Derek replied with an equally shaky voice. 'Ok…if that's what you want….'

He then walked past her slowly up the stairs, looking dejected, head bowing down.

* * *

><p>Meredith sighed to herself. She knew that she had hurt him deeply, but it had to be done. It had to be done before it went too far- and more people get hurt. Better to get him hurt now, rather then later- when he knows the truth….<p>

Suddenly tears welled up in her eyes. She tried to wipe them away, but they kept on streaming down her cheeks. Not wanting people to stare at her, she ran to the nearest on call room and collapsed on the bed, not bothering to lock the door.

Why has life to be so hard? Ever since she was 10 and her life turned upside down- life had never been easy on her. She had to work so hard both in school and at home. She had to forego so many pleasures and friendships and relationships. For what? She didn't know. She got harassed constantly by her mother's customers and her biological father who turned up drunk once in a while. She missed her younger childhood years. But most of all….she missed her friendship with Derek- so much. She would dream about those happier years at night. But now, he's here, right in front of her. The real Derek. Not a dream. So shouldn't she be happy about it? Yes, she was so glad to see him again. But at the same time, scared. She was afraid of what would happen if he got closer and closer to her again. His heart would be broken big time. And she didn't want to break his heart- he deserved better.

Yes, he deserved someone better than her. Yes, they could still be good friends and 'siblings' but nothing more than that. They were so many better women, more beautiful women out there for him, who could give him what he always wanted- a family.

It was obvious that he seems intererested in her right now. Which makes things so complicated. That kiss last night- what did it mean? Does a big brother kiss his little sister on the lips? Certainly not. It seemed like he wanted something more than a brother-sister or best friend relationship.

Now she is confused? What should she do?

'What did I do- oh what did I do?' she muttered to herself as she buried her head in the pillows.

Just then, the door of the on call room opened slowly. Her head was still buried in the pillow- she didn't bother to look to see who it was.

' Are you alright?' a male voice asked. It wasn't Derek's voice, that's for sure.

She didn't answer.

Mark Sloan now moved to the side of the bed…

'Meredith- are you ok? What are you doing here alone?'

'I'm fine- I just…need some time alone…'she mumbled into the pillow.

She finally looked at him with the tear stricken face.

He passed her a tissue and let her cry some more.

When she couldn't stop crying- he edged in closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a casual hug. Her body felt so warm against his- he had to resist the urge to take her there and then. She seemed so devastated after all.

Just then, the room door opened again.

Derek Sheperd stood still on the doorway in shock at the sight before him. All he wanted was some personal space…But now, his best friend and the woman he still loved so madly were hugged close together. She seemed upset. But he didn't care. Now anger overtook him. Mark Sloan was going to get a few punches, he'll make sure of that. He wasn't ever going to let him near Meredith or Lexie ever again.

**To come- a Derek and Mark duel! Lexie makes an appearance. We get more information on the actual reason Meredith has been acting that way towards Derek..**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

To say Derek was fuming was an understatement. He walked away from the on call room- not believing what he just saw. Mark and Meredith? No freaking way. Mark is his best friend- there is no way he is going to betray him like that- hitting on the girl whom he loved. He would have to do something about this.

'Derek- wait!' He heard Mark's voice calling after him. ' It's not as it looks like…trust me. She was upset….and I was just comforting her….'

' Then why are you hugging her so closely? It certainly doesn't seem like casual talk for me..'

'Derek, calm down. I assure you it was nothing…..besides she's hot…'

The last 3 words did it for Derek.

Before he could stop himself, Derek suddenly found himself punching Mark on the face. Now getting angry too and wanting to have his say, Mark punched Derek on the nose. Derek's nose- which became crooked when he broke it during a football game was now bleeding. But now nothing was going to stop him. He punched Mark on the stomach this time- causing Mark to double over in pain and blow him hard on the stomach too. This caused Derek to roll on the floor in pain.

By now, a small crowd of nurses , doctors and patients were gathered around them, watching in interest and curiosity.

'Stop!' a female voice said. 'Just stop. You both are behaving like three year olds. I'm very embarrassed for both of you. '

Both men turned to face Meredith, who was standing in front of them, hands on her hips. Their heads hung low, now embarrassed about their actions earlier on.

Derek mumbled an apology in reply.

Mark mumbled an apology and walked away dejectedly.

Meredith was fuming as she lead Derek into the nearest on call room. Even though she did have a feeling that Mark was trying to make a move on her , but his behaviour just now was unacceptable and unwarranted. She needed to talk some sense into him.

* * *

><p>'Derek, what were you thinking?' Meredith asked.<p>

Derek didn't know how to reply her. _Well, because I am jealous that Mark seems to be trying to make a move on you. I am jealous- because, well- I have feelings for you. _

'I'm sorry' he finally apologized sheepishly. 'I admit we acted like children out there'

'You guys sure did'.

' Well….I was having a rough day…. Then I saw Mark hugging you close….'

'Derek- nothing happened between us. You have to trust us on that…. He was just comforting me…'

Derek's heart suddenly sank. So it turned out that Mark had been there for Meredith when he hadn't.

' He was comforting you? But why? Are you ok?'

' I wish I'm ok, Derek….but you definitely made it worse'

Derek took her hands in his….'Look Meredith, you can tell me if anything upsets you. Remember how we used to tell each other secrets when we were younger? You used to confide in me.'

Meredith stayed silent. She knew it was true, she used to tell Derek everything. But now time and distance has changed everything. She didn't know if she can actually tell him the actual reason she was upset in the first place…..She couldn't bring herself to tell him that he was the reason she was upset initially and the he was the reason she felt even more upset now.

Her wind wandered to a month ago when she received the news that would change her life forever.

* * *

><p><em>One month ago<em>

Meredith's hands were trembling and her legs were shaking as she sat in front of Dr. White- the hospital's best haematologist. She had one whole week to prepare herself for this meeting, but still her heart was beating wildly.

Dr. White smiled at her reassuringly, but there was something in his eyes that told her that something was wrong.

She had realized that something was wrong with her when she began feeling more tired and exhausted than usual. If before, she could endure a 36 hour shift straight, but now she couldn't. Also, she noticed her gums started bleeding when she brushed them, but she thought that was normal. She noticed the bruises on her legs back she thought that was because she was being clumsy. The incident that triggered her to finally seek another doctor's advice was one day at work when she suddenly collapsed while scrubbing in the ER and her nose bleed profusely. A thorough history and physical examination was being performed. She was pale and easily tired. Her full blood count showed anaemia and low platelet count. Her peripheral blood film showed presence of blast cells. She was referred to a haematologist who performed a bone marrow aspiration on her.

She realized that in retrospect, she should have known. She is a doctor after all. How should she not have suspected anything initially? The signs and symptoms were all there. Maybe she had been too caught up with work to notice.

Now, Dr. White cleared his throat, and braced himself to break the news. The young lady sitting in front of him was so beautiful and so young and she still has a long life ahead of her. Or she is supposed to. But now….this was the part of his job that he absolutely hated- breaking bad news.

'Meredith- your bone marrow aspiration results are back… '

He passed her the test results and she studied them carefully.

Sure enough, there were 40% blast cells too in her bone marrow- which could only mean one thing….

' I have leukaemia don't I?' she asked with a flat voice. Somehow it didn't shock her at all, she was prepared for it.

Dr. White only nodded sympathetically.

Meredith didn't know how to react. She has cancer…a disease that was supposed to strike her patients, not her…

She had been trying to stay strong for the whole week….but now she was just too tired to do so anymore. The tears began rolling down her cheeks and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably.

Dr. White could do nothing except hold her hands as she continued sobbing and passing her a box of tissues.

_Present time_

'Ermm…..it was just about a patient of mine….she was just diagnosed with cancer and I don't know how to tell her the news…..' she lied.

Derek took her hands in his.

' I know- it's the hardest part of our jobs. I knew that you would make such a caring and compassionate doctor'

Meredith smiled as Derek wiped away the tears in her eyes. She is not going to tell him yet- not yet. She didn't want to break his heart so soon.

* * *

><p>That night- Derek couldn't stop thinking about Meredith again. He knew her well enough to know that there was something up with her. He could sense that she was keeping something from him…..something which she never did during their earlier years. He was determined to find out what her secret was.<p>

He turned on the TV and stared at it without actually focusing on what was on the screen. He was a mess now- he had to admit it. He didn't feel up to calling his parents yet ever since he reached here.

The door bell rang, and he got up slowly from the coach to open the door, secretly hoping that it was Meredith.

He gasped in surprise when he saw who it was standing in front of him.

' Lexie, what are you doing here?'

**So yeah, Lexie finally turns up… Coming up….we catch up with what has been going on with Lexie from her POV. Will Derek find out what is actually going on with Meredith?**

**Comments and Reviews please? Pretty Please? ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 13**

**Lexie's POV**

I look out of the window as the bus stopped at the Seattle bus station. It was already getting dark, and lights were being turned on which made the city even more beautiful. They were many more buildings being built since I left this city many years ago. It is a very nostalgic homecoming indeed…

Except that there was no one to pick me up or meet me at the station. I have no friends here, all of them were back in New York. I heard that my brother Derek had applied for residency in the hospital here, but I have not heard from him about it. We have been out of touch for the past half a year or so. Therefore I needed to check on him myself- to see how he was doing. Mum and dad have been bugging me to check on him. He hasn't been answering their calls or texts. In fact, he hasn't been answering mine either. That is my main aim of coming here to Seattle.

But I've come here to find a job too. After graduating top of my class from Edinburgh university- one of the top universities in the UK. Our parents had sent both me and Derek to the UK for further studies as they heard that education there was exceptionally good. Anyways- after 5 years of hard work and toil- I decided to take a breather for a year and travel around Europe. Now I've back and ready to start internship. My parents had encouraged me to apply for housemanship in the UK like my brother did- but I just refused to. I want to be close with my family, I know that they need me. Mum and dad were getting more frail and fragile as time went on, suffering from depression. I have to be there for them because Derek hasn't.

Actually, don't tell anyone I said this- but there is a third reason I've come here to Seattle. I know that Mark Sloan- my brother's best friend- works here in the hospital too. You know, we still keep in touch after all this while. That's how I know that my brother has moved back here recently. I think I do have a crush on Mark. We never had anything serious going on before this…..but who knows….

* * *

><p>So here I am, back in Seattle, my hometown, after 15 years. I have forgotten how windy and rainy it could be, as I could feel droplets of rain dripping on me. I quickly hail a taxi before it starts to rain even heavier.<p>

'Whereabouts are you going mam?' the taxi driver asks me.

I pull out Derek's address which I got from Mark.

Now the sky is totally dark, and I'm standing in front of Derek's new house, which I heard that he had rented. It looks beautiful- he's lucky that his job can afford such a big bungalow house. The porch lights and lights inside were all off, it doesn't look like there is anyone at home.

I am about to leave and hail another cab to the nearest hotel when suddenly the door opened and my brother looks at me in shock. By this time, I am soaking wet.

'Lexie, what are you doing here?

'I'm here to see you' I say trying to sound louder than the rain.

'Oh gosh- you're soaking….come in'

Then like a good elder brother does- he rushes upstairs and comes down with a towel and some clean clothes. And brings a cup of hot chocolate.

I am now clean with a cup of hot chocolate in my hands.

We sit on the couch facing each other, not knowing what to say at first. After so many years staying together- we still have this moment of awkwardness between us sometimes.

* * *

><p>When I initially came over to stay with the Sheperds, I was what you call living my dream. For 10 years I had lived in such miserable conditions. So to suddenly be able to live in such a beautiful and loving home, it really felt like a dream come true for me. Except that in real life- we all know that fairytale dreams and fairytale endings never do come true. When all the initial excitement has worn down- I came to realize that being a Sheperd wasn't all that perfect a life as I would've dreamt of. Although initially my mother seemed very pleased to have finally found me and we did everything together, but after some time- she gradually became more distant and withdrawn. As she looked at out of the kitchen window everyday- I wonder if she was thinking about Meredith. I know now and I should've known back then, I could never replace Meredith. She would always have a special place in their hearts. When I tried to ask mom about what was bothering her, she would just fake a smile and brush it off and lie that there's nothing wrong with her. But I know that there is something very wrong. She has been showing obvious signs and symptoms of depression even though she always denied it. Dad too- he would come back drunk almost every night. Once, he was too drunk until he almost mistook me as mum. It was getting serious indeed.<p>

As for Derek, well, it's safe to stay that Meredith always had a special place in his heart. I would watch him sit on the bench where they used to sit to for hours. Initially, I can tell that he still had a tough time accepting me as his sister. Over the years, our relationship had definitely improved by leaps and bounds- he began playing the big brother role again, beating up anyone in school who dared bully me. And any guy would had the guts to ask me out would have to go through him. Which was getting ridiculous, I've to admit- as he scared quite a few guys off. But he was a good brother indeed.

I've also been to see Ellis several times. I realize how cruel I had been to just leave her like that. She had been taking care of me for 10 years after all. She was always so glad to see me.

* * *

><p>And now, back to the present, I took a sip of my hot chocolate.<p>

' Derek- mum and dad are worried about you. They have been trying to contact you- but you never returned their calls. Why? You know the state they're in, they're getting more frail and fragile now.'

' I was too busy with my work- I didn't have the time' he answered with a sad tone in his voice.

' Derek- I know that you're busy with work- but I'm sure you've time for at least one short and simple call to them. Just to let them know that you're doing fine here. Would you do that for them? For me?' I use my eyes to plead to him like how I used to when we were younger.

He finally sighed in defeat. 'Alright then. I'll call them the first thing tomorrow morning. It's getting late now.'

I smile in victory. Yes! Mission one accomplished.

I look at him again. He seemed weary and worn down. There was frown lines on his forehead. I don't know if it is due to too much stress at work- or something more? It is obvious that there is something bothering him- after all this years being siblings- I've come to know him well.

I decide to just let any questions I might have in my mind about Mark to slide first. He didn't seem up to talking about anything- let alone any infatuation I might have about Mark.

Instead, I ask ' Derek- are you ok? You seem like there is something bothering you…'

'I'm fine' he answered nonchalantly.

I use the 'little sister' look on him again, which caused him to sigh in defeat again.

'Well, ok….ermm…she is here…'

'Huh? Who?'

'Meredith. She is here in Seattle. She works in the Seattle Grace hospital too.'

My mouth is now wide open in shock. After all this years, finally they meet again.

'Well….thats good…. That's good isn't it? You've missed her all this while- and now you get to meet here again?' I smile, genuinely happy for him.

He still seems worried. 'She has been avoiding me though. I don't know why…'

'I want to meet her. ' I say. 'Tomorrow, I'm going in to see whether I can get an internship place here…'

'You want to work here too?' he asked, surprised.

'Yep, why not? Closer to family…'

I can't read his expression- but I think there is a faint smile on his face.

'Oh btw, how is Mark?'

Derek faked a scowl. 'You still can't forget him after all this while?' And again, I have to use the power of my eyes on him.

We chatted until late at night.

**I hope I don't bore you with Lexie :P I do need to bring her into the story again after all. **

**Just a side note, the actress who played Lexie's role in the Korean drama ( the younger 10 year old version, not the adult version) died of a brain tumour a few years ago. She was just 20 years old. Just something I thought you all might like to know. **

**Another side note- I actually quite like Lexie on the show. And I love Chyler Leigh. So I apologize for not being able to potray her in too bad a light…**

**Comments and reviews are very much appreciated! : )**

**_To come...Lexie meets Meredith and Mark. Meredith meets Mr and Mrs Sheperd. Meredith's condition begins to deteriorate...will Derek find out about the secret she's keeping? And will anyone be able to help her?_**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 14**

Lexie walked out of the Chief's office in glee. She had just been offered the tough, competitive but prestigious internship programme in Seattle Grace hospital. She had a job now, and she was feeling exhilarated.

She was still humming a song to herself, striding across the bridge that connected the Chief's office to the rest of the hospital, when she stopped on her tracks. No it couldn't be. There, standing right in front of her was- Mark Sloan.

He looked up from his mobile phone and spotted her too- causing him to stop on his tracks and stare.

Even though they kept in touch with each other through texts and emails and phone calls quite often- but meeting each other face to face was an entirely different matter altogether.

Lexie's face automically turned crimson and her heart raced wildly. Butterflies were fluttering in her stomach.

As for Mark- it was like an angel just suddenly appeared in front of him in a dream. He just couldn't believe it- he heard the soothing and angelic voice ever so often- but he just missed seeing her in person. He would close his eyes as he heard her voice on the phone and imagine what she was wearing, and how she looked like as she spoke to him.

Then it occurred to him- she hadn't even told him that she was coming. Not even one word.

' Lexie'

'Mark..'

' You are here! You….you never mentioned that you were coming on the phone or your texts or emails..'

' I wanted to surprise you' she smiled shyly… 'So..yeah here I am… I just got the job as an intern in this hospital…so …looks like you'll be see me more often…'

Mark was delighted. This was like a dream indeed… Here Lexie was , standing right in front of him. And she had just implied that he would being seeing her everyday from now on. What more could a man want?

Any earlier plans he actually had to make a move on Meredith was totally forgotten.

'Wanna come for a cup of coffee with me? I am free at the moment…' Mark offered.

They walked hand in hand towards the hospital cafeteria, chatting excitedly. Even though they kept in touch so often, there was still so much to catch up on.

* * *

><p>Meredith was pacing around in the living room of Derek's house nervously that night. Derek had invited her over to his house earlier that day. It certainly hadn't been an easy feat at all, and he had to repeat the invitation three times and explain thoroughly to her the reason for inviting her over.<p>

He wanted her to meet his parents. The parents who were her parents too during the first 10 years of her life. She hadn't heard from them for ages. How long has it been since she last saw them? But she immediately accepted the offer as soon as Derek mentioned about them. Because she hasn't seen them in ages. The truth was, she missed them terribly.

The doorbell rang, and both Derek and Meredith jolted from the living room sofa. Both were feeling jittery about this meeting, although neither of them could point out the actual reason why.

It was Lexie. Derek had almost forgotten that he had invited her over too. It was almost like a family reunion of all sorts.

She smiled widely while she saw Meredith, and Meredith smiled back shyly. They weren't exactly the best of friends during their younger years, and they hadn't kept in touch for so long- not since Derek would sometimes mention about Lexie in his letters. In Meredith's mind, Lexie was still the jealous girl in class who hated her with all her heart.

'Come in' Meredith said quietly. Lexie has grown into a beautiful young woman indeed….she looked so different from the last time she saw her. Maybe her character has changed too?

Both women now sat a comfortable distance away from the couch, not knowing what to say to each other.

Derek interrupted the silence by asking if they both would like something to drink, to which they both nodded in reply.

' I haven't seen you in ages – you've grown…' Lexie was the first to break the silence.

'So have you' came the reply.

'Derek told me you were here yesterday. The way he said it- it was like his dream had finally come true. Meredith did you know that he had been thinking about you all this while ever since the day we left? He had been sitting on the bench when you both used to sit, and he'd stay they for hours. And I can just see it in his eyes, he missed you a lot.'

When Meredith didn't reply, Lexie continued ' Mum and dad too. It was obvious that they missed you a lot. Mum would mention about you non stop and would stare out of the windows wishing for you to return. So would dad. They both miss you so much, Meredith.'

Meredith felt her throat well up. Why didn't she know anything about this? Why hadn't Derek told her in his letters or in person what they first reunited? Why was Lexie the one who had to tell her the truth? She recalled, during the dinner, Derek had lied to her. He had told her when she asked that both his parents were doing well. But according to his sister, they were not. Who should she believe?

'They miss me?' Meredith managed a croak.

Lexie nodded, smiling.

Just then, the doorbell rang again, and Lexie stood up to answer it.

The squeal of 'Mom and dad' and hugs being exchanged was enough for Meredith to know who it was. She absentmindedly readjusted her blouse and straightened her hair and she slowly ambled to the front door, wanting to take her time. She, was just too nervous she wasn't ready for this.

She thought of creeping upstairs, when suddenly a voice called her….'Meredith?'

She finally met Carolyn Sheperd in the eye. Mrs. Sheperd looked so much elder than before, it looked like she had aged 15-20 years from when she last saw her. But then again, it had been 15 years since they last saw each other. too, he had aged considerably. They both had white hair and was balding. His belly was protruding and he looked so skinny if he looked fit before. She had wrinkles and frown lines on her face. Time had taken its toll on the both of them indeed.

Carollyn Sheperd eyed Meredith from head to toe. Certainly this was not the Meredith she had brought up for the first 10 years of her life. The Meredith before was gangly and thin and a tomboy who wouldn't give a damn about her appearance. But the Meredith standing in front of her now has fully grown into a beautiful young woman, tall and slender with curves, wavy golden hair, lipstick and a branded blouse.

'Meredith' she whispered again, not believing her eyes. Tears sprang into her eyes without warning.

'Mom' 'dad' Meredith choked out before she rushed over to hug them both.

They both embraced her so closely, not wanting to let her go ever again.

And the tears could not stop rolling down their faces.

For both Carolyn and Christopher, it was like a huge burden had been lifted off their shoulders. Meredith had come back to them. They felt more alive that moment than they had felt for the past 15 years.

* * *

><p>That night, after Mr. and Mrs. Sheperd had returned home with the promise of coming back again soon, and Leixe had retired to her bedroom, Derek and Meredith were left in the living room. The TV was on, but they were both not interested in the baseball match being telecasted.<p>

'Derek- tell me- why did you lie to me about mom and dad conditions? It seem obvious from their reactions and what Lexie told me- they both missed me so much. They both look so thin and fragile. Why did you neglect to mention that to me?' Meredith asked.

Derek cleared his throat. 'I just didn't want you to get worried'. He finally answered.

'Worried? Well- it's better than feeling hurt Derek… You lied to me Derek!'

Derek winced. He knew that Meredith had a temper during her younger years, but ever since they met again- he had never seen her angry like that.

' Meredith- I'm so sorry. I just didn't want you to be worried about them. Your internship is as stressful as it is, you need to focus on your work. Let Lexie and I take care of them.'

Meredith seemed to calm down, but didn't reply.

' Meredith- I know that you're keeping something from me as well…I can see it in your eyes. '

'Huh? What? No- no I'm not keeping anything from you.' But her lack of eye contact suggested otherwise.

Derek put his arms around her shoulder. 'Mer- do you know that I love you so much….and I'm not talking about just a brother-sister bond. I think it's more than that. I feel like I need you to know that.'

' Me too' she whispered back.

Derek's blue eyes widened in surprise. She finally confessed!

Feeling exhausted all of a sudden by the night's events- Meredith leaned back onto Derek's chest and he stroked her hair, holding her close. She suddenly felt so safe.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Derek had sent a special request to let Meredith scrub in on his first ever solo surgery. He had the intention of specializing in neuro- therefore he was going to perform his very first craniotomy.<p>

They both smiled knowingly at each other as they both scrubbed in together. They had both found a new lease of life and a new type of love between them.

The surgery went on very smoothly. Derek barked his orders like a pro and he discovered that Meredith was a great intern indeed. She didn't need to be told twice what to do, she knew her stuff.

Just as Derek was finishing the last few stitches on the patient's head, feeling satisfied by what he had accomplish, he heard a loud thud on the floor and gasps of shock.

All of a sudden, the entire OR and the viewing gallery was in chaos. The circulating nurses were now gathered around someone on the floor.

Being the focused person he was, Derek finished up the last few stitches, before letting the scrub nurse take over in cleaning up the patient.

He walked over to check on the commotion. And gasped in shock when he saw Meredith lying on the floor, pale and lifeless. Blood was oozing out from her nose.

**I 'm afraid I have to end this chapter here. *evil grins* Hope you like the reunion and the cliffhanger ;) Comments and reviews please! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 15**

**Derek's POV **

In horror- I rush to Meredith's side.

'Meredith' I shake her. No response. I check her pulse and her breathing, both were still there, although faint.

'Meredith' I shake her again. Still no response.

' We need to hook her up to the ECG machine and IV lines.. and her vital signs have to be monitored regularly' I am back in doctor's mode and barking orders frantically. This is not just any patient lying here on the floor in his arms, it is my Meredith.

* * *

><p><strong>Meredith's POV<strong>

I slowly open my eyes, and find myself in a bright lighted room. It was sparkling clean, and there is no trace of anyone else or any furniture in there. It was totally empty. Panicked, I call out 'Hello! Is there anyone there?' My voice echoed back to me. I shudder, my hair was now standing on ends. 'Hello!' I call out again. I hear footsteps walking towards me and I brace myself.

Suddenly I gasp in shock as a middle aged man stood in front of me. I have only seen him a few times before, but there was no mistaking who it was. My father- Tatcher Grey.

' Meredith?' he looked pleased but surprised at the same time to see me.

'Dad?' I say hesistantly. Over the years, our relationship has never improved. He never sent mom money to support me, not a single phone call even. He only showed up a few times to harrass both mom and I. He died of leukaemia a few years ago. There is no doubt where I inherited the leukaemia gene from.

' Meredith' he whispered my name again and walked slowly over to me, and embracing me. I let him hug me, missing the warmth of a father's love.

'Meredith- why are you here? You don't belong here... go back please….'

' I don't want to go back' I say stubbornly. It was true. I was going to die anyways, might as well stay here forever.

'You have to go back!' he was sounding desperate now. ' Your mom will be devastated if you left her alone. The Sheperds would miss you too- especially Derek. I know how much he loves you..' I stood still, stunned. How did he know about Derek? I never mentioned Derek at all during our few encounters.

' Time is running out Meredith…. You have to go back to them. It's not time for you to be here…yet….' my father said before he began to fade away and vanish into thin air.

I find myself running and running away from the bright light.

* * *

><p>I slowly open my eyes, which took quite a while to adjust to the bright fluorescent lights.<p>

Realizing that I am not in my own bedroom, I try to sit up, alarmed. But my entire body ached. And it was then that I notice the IV line inserted on the dorsal aspect of my right hand. I trace the line to find myself attached to a normal saline and a 5% potassium chloride solution. And there was a blood pressure monitor cuff wrapped loosely around her left arm. What the?

'Hey, hey, wait….' I heard a familiar male voice call out. It was Derek.

'Welcome back' he smiles at me softly

'Derek- why am I in the hospital?' I ask- still confused.

'Mer- you collapsed in the OR during my surgery, remember? You have a slight concussion on your head, and you had electrolyte imbalance, but other than that you're fine..'

His voice trailed off and he looks away from me.

Suddenly, I remember everything. I was about to scrub out, pleased with the way the surgery progressed, when suddenly without warning the entire OR began spinning and then it all turned black.

' I guess I was just too exhausted. 48 hour shifts can do that to you….' I try to reason.

' Meredith- stop lying to me! You called me out for keeping something from you yesterday, when you yourself are keeping something from me' Derek just can't help himself.

'So you know' I say softly.

'How long have you known?' he had calmed down by now, and his voice was softer.

' For about one month. I was feeling tired easily, and looked pale, and I had bouts of epistaxis….'

'Mer- why didn't you tell me?' he asks sadly, taking a seat beside my bed and holding my hands in his.

' Because I didn't want you to be upset. I didn't want to worry you.' I answer simply. It was the truth, and besides he had said the same thing to me last night.

' I can help you , you know' Derek says earnestly.

'How? I am about to start chemotherapy today. That is the best they can do. I am going to get weaker and weaker. How can you help me, Derek?'

Derek grips my hands tighter in his.

' Please- promise me you'll get better. Please?' he pleads with me with his blue eyes.

' I can't promise you that, Derek. But I'll try ok?'

' I love you so much Meredith, please don't leave me.'

' I wouldn't leave you, I promise…'

'You sure? Promise you'll fight this with all the strength you have?'

'I promise'.

He kisses me on the forehead, and then stares at the wall blankly. I have never seen him this upset before.

* * *

><p>Just then, Dr. White enters the room. He is wearing the same look in his face as he had when he delivered the diagnosis to me. This doesn't look good at all..<p>

'Meredith' he says, pausing after that, as if thinking of what to say to me.

'It's ok, go on Dr. White. I think I'm used to this by now' I say, trying to make light of the situation.

'We can't find a suitable bone marrow donor for you. You will definitely have to start chemotherapy today. The treatment might be able to delay the progression of the disease- but the likelihood of cure is very unlikely. Your disease is too aggressive- I'd say you have…..at most three more months to live. I'm so sorry Meredith.'

A lump has formed in my throat as I try to absorb the news. I have only three months to live. I am only an intern- I still have the entire career ladder in front of me. And I still have yet to get married and give mom grandchildren. There were still so many things I want to do with my life. Why does God want to take me away so soon? That is not fair! But then again, nothing in life is fair.

'Ok, thanks Dr. White' I say calmly, although my heart was breaking inside.

When the doctor left the room, I let out a sob involuntarily from my throat. Derek sat beside me very still and silent, holding my hands.

The sobs became even louder and I can't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I seldom cry, but I am just too tired to be strong anymore.

Derek holds me close and hugs me as I continue to cry, not caring that I am now wetting his scrubs. What I didn't see was that he was crying too.

I honestly don't know now what the future holds for me, or whether I even have a future at all. Tired, I drift off slowly to sleep in his arms.

* * *

><p>When I open my eyes again, I am pleasantly surprised to see mom Ellis sitting beside me, holding my hands.<p>

She smiles gently at me.

'Derek' I try to say, but my throat was so dry.

' I had forced him to go back for some food and shower, he'll be back soon.' Says mom softly. 'How do you feel?'

'Like crap, mom'

She sighs and strokes my hair lovingly, the way she always did when I was younger and felt sick.

'Mom'

'Yeah?'

' I don't know how to be strong anymore. Dr. White said….'

'Shh…..I know that…. It's ok…..you'll be ok….'

Mom always knows how to make things better.

'I'm too young to die'

' Don't say that' she scolded softly…. ' Are you hungry Mer? I know you can't take anything solid at the moment, but I've brought some cereals with me'.

I manage a weak smile. There is nothing like a mother's love.

* * *

><p>Mom has just left and I am now flipping through TV channels. There was nothing interesting to watch. Cristina barged in still wearing her scrubs.<p>

' Meredith- are you ok?' she made her way to the side of my bed.

'Yeah' I smile weakly.

She picked up my charts and file without even asking my permission, causing me to roll my eyes.

'Cris- have you learnt anything about patient privacy?'

' That rule doesn't apply to my person'.

She suddenly spotted the diagnosis in the file and she looked at me in shock, not saying anything. Our eyes met, and our eye contact was enough to let us know what the other was thinking at the moment.

' Why didn't you tell me?' she sounded hurt. 'I thought that I am your person'

' Yes Cris – you're still my person' I try to reason with her. 'I just….didn't want you to get worried. You are so busy with work'

I can't believe it when tears begin rolling down her cheeks. The tough hardcore Cristina Yang was crying? I think I may be dead after all.

' Meredith- promise me to fight this ok? You have to fight this. Because we both are fighters remember that? We are the kick ass twisted sisters, we always get through every adversity together.' Cristina had an ectopic pregnancy earlier this year- and I was there for her.

'I'll try, Cris- I'll try' I say, feeling my eyes well up as well.

'Move over' she said as she took her place next to me and we both flipped through crappy TV channels together.

* * *

><p><strong>Derek's POV<strong>

I had initially wanted to respect Meredith's privacy, but I care too much for her to leave her alone. Dr. White was reluctant to tell me what was wrong with her at first, but I kept on pestering her until he finally caved in. When the doctor told me her diagnosis,I had to pour over her charts and file to see for myself. He just couldn't believe my eyes and ears. It was like a cruel twist of fate. This certainly can't be happening. Meredith, my Meredith was ill. And it was not just a simple cold, she had leukaemia, the blood cancer that kills hundreds of young people annually in this country.

That very moment, it was like my entire world had crumbled around me. No, I am not going to let her be taken away from me like that.

Meredith's mom had convinced me to leave her alone for a while to take a break for myself. I had my shower and had a quick snack before I made my way to the National Donor Registry. This was the best I can do for my Meredith. I know I am not biologically related to her, but at least I can say that I've tried.

* * *

><p>That night, I am cuddled up with Meredith in her hospital bed, and she was flipping through TV channels again. Cristina and Lexie had just gone back after being in here for a couple of hours. Cristina especially had been devastated to say the least, Meredith is her person, she had said to me in person when Meredith wasn't listening. Lexie seemed upset too. I wonder if Meredith knows how lucky she is- to have so many people care about her.<p>

' You know Derek- I have a list' she said suddenly.

'A list? What list'

' A list of all the things I want to do before I die' she said earnestly.

' Hush, don't say that!' I scold her gently. 'You are not going to die'.

Ignoring me, she continued

' I want to go to Europe. It has been my dream place. I want to go to London, Barcelona, Rome, Milan, Amsterdam'

I chuckle. 'You are being ambitious aren't you? Get better first- then you can go touring around Europe.'

' I want to finish my internship and become a resident at least...'

' You don't want to specialize?'

'Yes, I want to specialize in either general surgery or neurosurgery. But I'm just taking in one step at a time' .

I smile, holding her hands in mine.

' I want to fall in love and be loved in return…'

I look at her. 'Meredith, I'm here you know- and I love you' I say, meaning every word of it.

She smiled widely at me. I've never seen a smile so beautiful.

' I have another wish'

'What is that?'

Without answering, she kissed me passionately on the lips, and I return it more than willingly.

Before we know it- we are both naked under the sheets and exploring each others bodies. That night, we didn't sleep much as we were lost in each other, and the pleasure of making love to Meredith was unlike anything I've ever felt before.

**Ok, I have to end this chapter here as it is getting too long ;) Hope you like it- and please, oh pretty please do review! **


	15. Chapter 15

****Ok, before I begin this chapter, I just wanna say that the season 8 Grey's premiere has to be the most depressing ever. Derek is being a jerk in the actual show- so I'm going to try to make a more McDreamy version of him here...hopefully I succeed in doing so** ;)**

**Chapter 16 **

**Meredith's POV**

I open my eyes groggily to find Derek staring at me smiling.

'You look so cute when you're sleeping.' He said. ' Do you know that you snore?'

I swat his hand playfully, giggling. 'I don't snore.'

'Yes, you do. Don't deny it.'

'Do you feel better today?' he asked, suddenly concerned.

'After last night, definitely.' I said winking at him. And I do mean it. Last night just had to be the best night of my life- and I'm not exaggerating. It was like Derek swept me off my feet literally, and I was lost in a whole new world- which consisted of just the both of us.

But then reality sets in.

One glance at my IV drip and the cup of hot chocolate on the table alerted me that a nurse had just entered my room while we were both fast asleep, and had crept out of the room quietly. I'd have to thank the nurse, whoever it was.

'Derek- hurry up, you have to get dressed!' I start panicking. 'Dr. White is going to be here any minute!'

* * *

><p>He got dressed just in time- as soon enough Dr. White came in.<p>

He smiled at us both.

'Ok Meredith'- he said in a serious tone. We have to get you started on your chemotherapy regime today. Is that ok? Sorry we couldn't start it yesterday….something crept up.'

I nod as Derek holds my hands in his.

'Since you're a doctor yourself you know the drill- I'm sure you know why you need to do this procedure…..'

'Yes to kill all the cancerous cells which are invading my body'

'…..the side effects of the treatment….'

'Yes, nausea and vomiting, lethargy, loss of weight and appetite….loss of hair….'

'Well, looks like you're well prepared for this' he smiles at me.

'Oh- and one more thing' he suddenly says, putting the needle down. 'If you both are planning to have children in the future- we can ermm….harvest your eggs- and collect some sperm sample from your partner (he motioned to Derek) and then freeze the embryos.'

'Babies' I smile.

Derek and I look at each other. We have reached a level of understanding such that we can use our eyes to communicate with each other.

' Let's just do it.' I say. Derek nodded in agreement.

* * *

><p>When the samples have been collected from Derek and I, the dreaded time for chemotherapy is here.<p>

I wince as the large needle pokes through my vein and I feel the chemotherapy fluids burn through my veins. So this is what a cancer patient feels like, I think to myself.

After half an hour- I start feeling the side effects of the chemo. The sensation of nausea, causing me to rush to my ensuite bathroom and wretch my guts out. Fortunately, Derek is here with me, holding my hair up and patting my back.

I groan as I sink on the bathroom floor.

'So that is what having morning sickness feels like' I groan. 'Not fun at all….'

'At least with morning sickness you get a baby in the end.' I mutter to myself again when Derek didn't answer.

' Well, with chemotherapy you get better in the end' says Derek.

I look up at him and smile wearily. Why does he always know the right things to say?

* * *

><p>A couple of hours later, as I am still resting on my bed, feeling the side effects of the chemo, Lexie comes barging into my room. She looked pale and exhausted and weary.<p>

'Lexie, what is wrong?' I asked concerned.

'I…I….just wanted to say I'm sorry….' She said, sounding ashamed.

'Sorry? What for? You've done nothing wrong'….now I'm puzzled.

' For all the things that I've done to you all this while. Remember when we were younger and I used to bully you in school?'

I take her hands in mine. 'Lexie- yes, you treated me like s*** those days, but it's ok….it's all over now. The past is behind us now, ok?'

She looked relieved- as if a huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders, and she smiled wearily at me.

'I…I have to go and settle something' she said excusing herself.

I shake my head and smile to myself as she rushes out of the door. What is with her?

* * *

><p>Evening came, and I am feeling better and the nausea has gone. My IV drips were being removed, and I'm allowed to take food orally again.<p>

' I have a surprise for you….' Derek says mysteriously.

' A surprise? Oh…I love surprises!'

'Alright- now close your eyes…'

I do as told and he blindfolds me.

'Derek- what are you doing?'

'You've to trust me, Mer… Now, listen you have to follow me ok? I am going to guide you every step of the way, so don't be frightened. I'll be here, I have your back. Like always…'

I nod. Of course I trust him.

He leads me along what seems to be a never ending path.

'Derek, where are we going?' I ask, beginning to feel nervous.

' You'll see' he answered slyly. 'Do let me know if you're feeling tired, then we'll rest, ok?'

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he removed my blindfold.

And I gasp in surprise.

Right in front of me is a beautiful garden, surrounded by roses, tulips and other flowers of different colours. The autumn leaves surrounds us with different shades of colors.

And at the bottom of a tree- is a small table and two small chairs and a huge picnic laid out on the table- consisting of sandwiches, biscuits and chocolates.

'Derek' I look at him in surprise.

He just shrugged, smiling. 'Sit down'

As we feast on the picnic ( I am starving as I haven't eaten for one whole day), we chatted about all sorts of things, from our interests to boys and girls- our past lives- we even reminisced about our early years together.

It was a lovely picnic indeed- just the two of us together.

'Derek- how did you manage to get me out of the hospital? I'm in my hospital attire….' I ask, curious.

'I know all the security guards and the nurses here' he winked at me.

' Oh man- I knew it. You're such a charmer' I giggle. Indeed he is so charming, he attracts everyone to him- be it male or female.

'Well, I can't help it' he joked again.

Suddenly his expression turned serious.

I look at him, wondering what is in his mind at this moment.

Just then, he took out a ring and bowed down in front of me, as I gasp in surprise. I never saw this coming!

'Meredith Grey, will you marry me?'

'Yes, of course!' I yell and we hug each other tightly and kiss passionately, not bothering about the strange looks passersby were giving us.

I am going to be a Sheperd again after all.. and I am going to spend the rest of my life with the only guy I've ever loved. Screw chemo, screw cancer, this has got to be the best feeling ever!

The engagement ring: .

* * *

><p><strong>Lexie's POV<strong>

I know that it's all in my hands now. Both Ellis and Derek had been tested, but were not suitable donors for Meredith. Both had been devastated by this news, although both refused to let Meredith know about it. They didn't want to destroy her hope. However, we all knew that time is running out for Meredith. In front of her, we smile and we laugh. But behind her, we cry- knowing that she is a ticking bomb. She has less than three months to live- was there anyone that there could be a suitable donor for her? Was there anyway to save her? Seeing Derek so devastated breaks my heart as well. I wish that I could do something for him, something that can cheer him up. And I know that Meredith is the only person that can cheer him up. So if Meredith gets healed, he will be healed too.

Suddenly I have an idea. Of course! It is a long shot, but it's worth a try. It's the least I can do for her, I owe her that much after all the cruel things I had done to her during our younger years. She deserves that much in return.

I am going to get tested to see if I am a suitable bone marrow donor for Meredith. I want to save her as badly as the others do. I know that there is a 0.0001% chance of me being a suitable donor for her, and the entire procedure would be a painful one, but still I'm willing to go through with it. What I don't dare to think about is what would happen in the 99.999% chance that I am not a suitable donor. All we can do now is to hope and pray.

**So…..I'll end this chapter here : ) Hope you like the proposal! Also- will Lexie be a suitable donor for Meredith? She's Meredith's last hope!**

**Also, comments and reviews are very much appreciated as always!**


	16. Chapter 16

**This episode is dedicated especially to Cilesuns92, who has been a constant reader and supporter throughout. Thank you so much! : )**

**Chapter 17**

**Lexie's POV**

Of course I had to be a donor. I had this feeling at the back of my mind that I would be a donor.

Now I wince as the haematologist (was his name Dr. White) pokes me with a huge needle and draws out my bone marrow. Mark winces too as he holds my hands.

' Are you sure you really want to do this, Lex?'

' Mark- the needle is already inside me- there is no way I'm backing out now. Besides, this is the third time you've asked me that question already. ' I am starting to get annoyed, above the intense pain I'm now feeling in my right hip. But it does help distract me from the pain somewhat.

'Sorry, I just wanted to make sure' he looked apologetic as he rubbed circles on my palm encouragingly.

I smile at him bravely as the doctor continues extracting more bone marrow cells from me. I certainly have no regrets whatsforever about this.

* * *

><p><strong>Meredith's POV<strong>

I just couldn't believe my ears when Dr. White told me that there is a suitable donor for me after all. It was like I am in a dream. When I ask him if he knew who it was- he said that the donor preferred to remain anonymous. I offer a prayer of thanks to the generous donor, may God bless them always. He/she had just literally saved my life! I've been given a new lease of life.

The bone marrow transplant was done just a few days after that. To everyone's pleasant surprise, I reacted well to the transplant. No haemolytic reactions, no host vs graft reactions, no infections. Nothing. My recovery went on smoothly.

After a few weeks or so, I was even well enough to be on my feet again and started to throw myself into planning for the wedding. There were so many things that needed to be done- selecting the wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses, flower arrangements, the wedding cake.. the guest list.

Thankfully, the Sheperds and mom were very helpful indeed, and helped out a lot in the planning.

I was also fit enough to return to work and just getting the hang of things back at work. I have to be grateful too that my resident, Miranda Bailey, knew of my condition and was understanding enough not to push me too much.

I have my life back- and every night I offer a prayer of thanks to my mysterious donor.

* * *

><p><strong>6 months later<strong>

Today was the day of my wedding. It was beautiful. Even the weather was agreeing with us. We decided to hold an outdoor wedding in a beautiful garden, where all the flowers were blossoming. Altogether there were at least a hundred guests, all friends and families and staff of the hospital.

Everyone looked beautiful and radiant, from the guests to the bridemaids, Lexie and Cristina.

I tap my feet nervously as mom and Lexie were busy putting on the last minute touches for me.

' Are we done yet?' I ask impatiently.

' Mer- can't you wait for a moment longer? This is your important day- we want you to be the most beautiful bride ever.' Lexie laughed.

' I can't believe this.' I say, more to myself. ' Half a year ago, I was dying. And now, here I am, about to get married to the love of my life. I am such a lucky person. I'm forever grateful to the person who gave me this new lease of life.'

Lexie suddenly remains silent. Taking it that she's jealous, I continue…

' It'll be your turn soon, Lexie. Just wait and see' I wink at her.

She laughs, and soon the tension of the moment is forgotten.

After I'm done- we both look at the mirror. I almost can't recognize the person I see in the mirror. Half a year ago- I was so fragile and thin and was losing my hair to chemotherapy. Today, I look like the most radiant bride ever. This has got to be a miracle indeed.

* * *

><p>I smile as Mr. Sheperd ( I still call him Dad) walks me down the aisle. Like most girls- I had been dreaming of this days ever since I was 5. I spot Derek standing at the end of the aisle with Mark beside him. He spots me and there is this huge grin worn on his face.<p>

Suddenly I feel a bit wobbly and stumble a little on my feet. Dad was quick to react and grasps my hand tightly. Hoping that no one noticed anything I mumble a word of thanks to him.

' It's ok, I think no one noticed.' He whispered back. 'Are you ok, Mer?'

'Yes, yes, I'm fine'. I assure him. 'I was just getting too excited, that's all.'

Finally I reached the end of the aisle and stand next to Derek. We steal glances at each other and smile cheekily.

' I love you' he mouths.

' Love you too' I mouth back.

We barely pay attention to the priest's opening sentences as we are busy smiling at each other.

Finally it was turn for us to recite our vows.

'In sickness and health, till death do us apart.'

' Would you, Derek Christopher Sheperd, take Meredith Elizabeth Grey to be your wife? To love and to cherish her for the rest of your life…'

'I do' Derek says firmly.

'Would you, Meredith Elizabeth Grey….'

' I do' I say before the priest could even finish the sentence.

' I'll now pronounce you as husband and wife'.

As the guests applauded and cheered loudly, we both shared our first passionate kiss as husband and wife. I was so caught in the moment, everything just felt so right.

That night, we danced the night away. It simply has to be the best day of my life ever.

Meredith's wedding dress: .

The wedding location: ./_sqU0RQ31q7E/THQEBONOg8I/AAAAAAAAA40/Y96DsO88KuA/s1600/IMG_

* * *

><p><strong>Derek's POV<strong>

This first month of marriage was a bliss. We did everything together, and never argued even once. Granted, we both returned back to work soon after, and decided to let Meredith finish her internship first before we went on our honeymoon.

But the honeymoon was really worth the wait. We decided to do something out of the ordinary and go to Bali for the honeymoon. After doing some research, and hearing from friends saying that it has the most romantic beaches ever and the most exotic food, and after reading 'Eat,Pray, Love' we both decided that it was the place we wanted to go.

It turned out to be the ideal vacation indeed…we ate, had whole body massages, slept, made love, swam, and slept and ate again. I've never felt more relaxed in my whole life.

It is sunset, and we are walking hand in hand down the beach, the evening breeze blowing into our faces. By now, the beach crowd had cleared, and it was such a calm and peaceful atmosphere, just the two of us.

Meredith leans into my chest and looks up at me, smiling. I hold her close to me, smiling back. At this moment, I feel like the luckiest man ever to have married the woman I love the most.

Suddenly I feel something not quite right.

I turn to look down at her, and gasp in horror when I notice that she has gone limp in my arms.

'Meredith!' I shake her, hoping that she was just toying with me. No response.

'Meredith!' I shake her harder. No response. I feel her pulse and breathing, but there was none this time.

'Help!' I call out. 'Someone help me!'

I then begin administering CPR, tears rolling down my eyes. She cannot just leave me like that. No, no! By now, a crowd has gathered around us.

'Somebody call the ambulance please!' I plead, hoping that someone would understand me.

Fortunately for us, someone did.

* * *

><p><strong>Half an hour later<strong>

I stare at the monitor blankly as it continued to flat line. I stare at the Indonesian doctors as they try to push one dose of epinephrine after another.

'No' I think to myself. 'This cannot be happening. We had just started a new life together and were planning on starting a family soon. She cannot be leaving me like this. God can't be this cruel.'

Slumping against the wall of the room, unnoticed by the busy doctors and nurses and the commotion in the room, I begin to cry.

**Ok, so there you go. ;) I was initially thinking of making the wedding somewhere along the lines of 'What A Difference A Day Makes' and also 'A Walk To Remember.' But I went for the traditional way instead. There is the epilogue left, which I'll post tomorrow, hopefully. I'm sorry to rush this story, but I have to get it done before I go for induction on Tuesday and begin work after that. **

**Please, please do comment and review- it's hard to begin writing a new chapter when you don't have that many reviews. : ) **


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 18**

**Derek's POV**

I am wrecked in sobs as the monitor continues to flatline. The doctors are still pushing epinephrine into Meredith, not willing to give up just yet. Neither am I.

Suddenly, just as we were all about to give up, one of the doctors yell out ' I see a V-fib! It's slight, but it's there!'

They begin defibrillating her, starting with 100, then 200, then 300.

That's when her eyes fluttered open and she looked at me.

'Meredith' I cry- rushing over to her side, as the doctors continue to monitor her vitals

'Derek' she says weakly.

Tears begin rolling down my eyes as I cup her beautiful face in my hands. She looks so pale and tired all of a sudden, but to me she still looks as beautiful as ever.

'Don't cry' she whispers, trying to lift her hands to wipe off my tears, but to no avail. Her hands were too weak, and the IV lines were in the way.

' Why do you do this to me again?' I want to shake her hard and scream. But instead, I just grip her hand tight. ' I thought you were fine- we promised each other to always stay with each other through sickness and health remember?'

She just smiles weakly.

' I have been feeling very tired for the past few weeks. I just…didn't want to tell you. I didn't want to worry you.'

I want to scream and her, but my anger subsided as soon as she touches my hand lightly.

' Derek- thank you.'

' Huh? For what?' I ask, confused.

' Thank you for giving me this life. Thank you for marrying me and loving me. And giving me this dream wedding and dream life. This past year has been the best time ever in my life.'

'Meredith- you know that I love you so much. You're the only person I want to marry.'

'Derek- I love you so much too. So much.' She whispers softly back. 'Can you kiss me please?'

Slowly, I lean over to kiss her tenderly on her cheeks, and then on the lips. Our lips linger for a moment and I inhale in her sweet lavender scent.

When I pull away, there is a peaceful smile in her face. Then she closes her eyes and drifts off to a peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p>That was when she flatlines again. This time, epinephrine doesn't help.<p>

I pretend not to hear when the doctor announced her time of death, 6:45pm.

I pretend not to hear when the doctor in charge tried to explain to me, in broken English, that Meredith had suffered from hyperkalaemia, which was the result of tumour lysis syndrome. He explained that she was initially reacting well to the bone marrow transplant- but then for some rare and unexplained reason, the cancer cells returned, and attacked her blood system more rapidly than before. There was no way she could fight it this time. She hadn't been feeling well again for the past one month, but she neglected to tell me that because she didn't want to worry me.

I pretend not to hear when the doctor put his hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me by saying that it was a miracle that she actually survived as long as she did.

I don't cry anymore- my tears had dried up by now. I am a guy- and a guy does not cry. Instead, I continue holding her hands for a few moments- looking at her beautiful and peaceful face. It looks like she is just sleeping and was having a wonderful dream.

As they tell me that it's time to take her away- I kiss her forehead one last time, before they cover her head up. I know that she has to be flown back to the US to be buried, but I just can't bear thinking about that right now.

Denial. The first stage of grief. Surely my Meredith can't be dead. She is just sleeping. But that stage passes by very quickly as it almost immediately gives way to feelings of hurt and anger. Why does God have to do this to us? Why does God have to take her away from me? What have I done to deserve this? What has she done?

I amble slowly down the hospital corridors, not bothering about the curious looks that I am getting.

She is gone, really gone this time. Cruel fate has taken the person I love the most away from me. There is really no point in living now. I don't know how I am going to fly back home alone. It is as if she has taken a part of me with her. I am dead and empty inside.

One minute- we were chatting and laughing and holding hands on the beach. The next moment, she is gone forever. Life is so fragile indeed. One moment we are alive, next moment, we are not.

I slowly walk out of the hospital grounds out to the main road. I am aimless, I really don't know what I am going to do now, or where am I going to go. I still can smell the lingering scent of her lavender.

I have a feeling she is watching me and following me every step I go. We are inseparable after all.

I am thinking that maybe I would just go for a walk. Maybe that would help clear my mind a bit, then I can plan my next step.

I spot the beach from a distance, the same beach where we had been walking blissfully together just over an hour ago.

Maybe I can see her again when I go there. I don't want to call anyone just yet. It is too heartbreaking indeed.

I begin to cross the main road . And I feel the huge impact of something, it must be a heavy vehicle, hitting my right side. I feel myself being flung high up in the air. And then the whole world turns black.

* * *

><p><strong>10 years later<strong>

**Lexie's POV**

Today has been particularly hard on me. Mainly because it is the 10th anniversary of my brother and sister-in-law's death. Every year, during the anniversary of their deaths, I would take a moment of silence to recall their lives.

I broke down and didn't come out of my room for days after I received the dreaded phone call from Bali. Apparently, she had a very delayed reaction to my bone marrow, and her disease returned more aggressive than ever. She never ever mentioned a single thing about feeling tired to me or to anyone else for that matter. But I don't regret ever donating my bone marrow to her. I had given her a new lease of life- she had recovered in time to prepare and enjoy her wedding and married bliss for at least a month. And she got to experience true love. It was better than her not being able to experience all this at all, had she not received the transplant.

I do miss my brother the most. He had been there for me throughout, I remember him always standing up to the school bullies for me and interrogating all the guys who were interested in me. Now that he is gone, I feel like I've lost a security blanket somewhat. That's why the news that he died of a cerebral haemorrhage after being knocked down and dragged half a mile by a truck hit me the hardest.

The funeral was held a week later after both their bodies had been flown back here.

Mom and dad have handled grief well this time round. They have accepted it as fate, and have opened a leukaemia foundation under Meredith's name, in support of all leukaemia patients in the hospital.

Mark, he is the best. He was so supportive, and had been there for me during those early days of grief when I bawled my eyes out and refused to touch any food. He forced me to eat and forced me to get my ass to work. Cristina had been good support too.

Now, as I stare outside the kitchen window, I see two birds flying past and perch themselves on the branch of a nearby tree. Call me crazy, but I think it's Derek and Meredith. I always feel like they are both watching over me, watching over us.

I try to blink back tears as I walk away from the kitchen window to take out the cakes that had been baking in the oven. After all this years, I still have to cry.

I feel strong arms wrap themselves around my waist, and a familiar voice asking

'Hey, you alright? Want me to help?'

'No, it's ok, I've got it.'

' Lex- I know that today would be hard on you. Just let me help, please…'

I look up at Mark as he gives me a quick kiss on the lips. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such a loving husband.

' Mom- are the cakes ready?' a 9 year old boy with dark hair and blue eyes asks as he walks into the kitchen. He gives me the trademark grin which he has inherited from his father. He is followed behind by his sister, who has just turned 6 and has dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes.

'Kids- you know that your mom is not feeling good today. Just give her a …'

'I'm ok, Mark' I whisper.

' Yes, they're ready.' I smile at them, gesturing towards the chocolate cakes on the table.'

'Yay!' they both rush over to the cakes.

' Hey, it's mine…'

'No…I grabbed this piece first'

' Derek- just let your sister have the piece please, you can get another one.'

Our son scowled and finally gave in.

Meredith giggled and stuck her tongue out at her brother, who scowled some more.

Mark and I exchange glances and smile knowingly at each other as our children continue their squabble.

* * *

><p>Just then, the doorbells rings.<p>

The kids rush for the door, opening it without hesitation. I know that I have told them not to open doors to strangers….but they always forget.

I hear their squeals of delight and I know who it is.

'Grandpa! Grandma!'

' So….how are my favourite grandkids? Gosh, you've both growing so big already!' Carolyn's voice came in from the doorway.

' Mom is baking some chocolate cakes- you can have some' Meredith says excitedly, leading my parents to the kitchen.

' Dad just bought a new kite- I learnt to fly it' Derek says excitedly, grabbing

Mom now appears in front at the kitchen door.

'Hey mom' I say walking over to hug her.

She hugs me back tightly.

' I know today is especially hard for you. It is for me too. I miss them so much.'

'So do I' I whisper back, feeling the tears filling my eyes again.

' You know Lexie, somehow your children remind me of them during their childhood years….'

' I know mom, I know'.

As Mark and Dad settle themselves in front of the TV for a football game, mom and I remain in the kitchen looking at Derek and Meredith flying their kites. Indeed mom is right, looking at them reminds me of the two beautiful souls they were named after. And I do know in my heart that they are both looking down from heaven at us and smiling.

Life has come full circle indeed.

**THE END**

**Ok, so this is the end of the story. I hope I don't disappoint you with the ending (please don't kill me :p) , it was indeed meant to be this way. That was how the original series was , with the two of them gone. The whole Lexie storyline was never there though. I just thought that I wanted to redeem her character in this story. By donating her bone marrow- she gave Meredith a new life, and she could enjoy her wedding and honeymoon and married bliss. That would never have happened had there not been a donor.**

**I actually was wavering back and forth on how to end this story- should Meredith live? Should they both die? Should just one die? Then I decided to just go ahead with angst, like the real series did.**

**I do realize that the last few chapters especially were rather rushed and sloppy, and I sincerely apologize for that. I would've written much better had I had more time in my hands. I just…had to finish this before I start induction and then work tomorrow. By then, I wouldn't know when will I ever get to update again, and I hate leaving readers hanging like that.**

**That being said, do check out the original series- with a box of Kleenex beside you! : )**

**Last but not least, I have to thank all you readers out there, those who commented and those who read but didn't comment- and especially the loyal readers, you know who you are! **


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